Life's Mindful Moments: Looking Up

Once in a while things don’t go our way. Ha! Okay, more than once in a while. And when it doesn't, it kind of sucks. We don’t like discomfort, being dissed, or feeling discarded. There is no getting around the fact that people disappoint us (and yes, we disappoint too). We’re left with this nagging feeling, “Huh, is this personal or just circumstantial?” We carry it around in our chest, shoulders, throat, belly, (for me it’s my hips because I’ll start to eat. I know what your thinking, “Wow, she must have a lot of disappointment!” I have recently but I’m working on not letting things bother me so much). Sometimes the thoughts in our head are like cicadas making that summer background sound that doesn’t go away.

 I came outside to sit and get still because I have a tinge of hurt that’s hanging around in my head. Someone didn’t return the phone call or email that I needed to hear back from. Someone bailed on getting together. Two valuable things broke and now need to be replaced. It is easy to allow our discouraged thoughts to hover like humidity in Chicago. We all know how draining that can be in July. 

I think cardinals are handsome birds. If I’m out on a walk and I hear one singing, I'll pause to look up and try to spot him. As much as I love watching birds, I could never be an ornithologist. I bet they have neck problems. This morning I was trying to get quiet and just meditate on the summer sounds. A striking red fella flew into the back yard. I didn't need to crane my neck to see him because he was on our driveway—which was unusual to see him on the ground. He grabbed a small leaf, about the size of a nickel, and looked like he was eating it (maybe an insect was on it). I watched and thought, “What are you doing on the driveway, you’re suppose to be up in a tree. You’re not meant to eat leaves, you’re suppose to feast on seeds and worms.” A few moments later he flew to a low branch on the nearest tree.  "Now there you go fella, now you’re moving up.” 


I smiled at natures little life analogy for me this morning: I’m not meant to dwell on these low-level thoughts either (I’m suppose to look up, right?). I can’t change the disappointing things that happen. I need to get off the ground and just move to a higher place within—a place where my ego doesn’t drag me down and make everything personal. Eventually the cardinal flew away. Right then I realized that I too need to let these thoughts just fly away—let'em go and move on.  


Following my breath a while longer anchored me back to the present moment. I said some prayers of blessing for those that I felt disappointed by. That usually gets me back on track—allowing me to let go of these feelings that only hold me captive to the past—even if the past was 12 hours ago. Accepting ‘things as they are’ goes a long way to keeping me sane. It takes time to watch the birds and watch my what my obsessive brain is up to, but it’s worth it--worth the peace within. Maybe later today I'll spot another cardinal. He'll be in a better place (high up in the trees) and so will I (in my mind). 

 Oh and if I haven’t called you back or returned and email, it’s not personal. Just, ‘my bad.’