~Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.~ Chinese Proverb.
Most people don’t like Monday. I get it. The last six months have been hard for me to embrace Monday too. I usually have one or two tests on Monday. Which brings a mild undercurrent of anxiety that arises within me on Sunday night. I spend a ridiculous amount of hours studying every weekend. Mostly because I have this deep fear that I’m going to forget everything once those written tests are placed in front of me. I’m not like the youngin’s in my classes who stroll in Monday morning and say, “Oh we have a test today?” then proceed to ace it. Apparently I’ve used up a lot more brain cells at my age. Spring break has given me permission to unplug my brain and recharge my spirit. Since I’ve gotten into the “I hate Monday’s rut, I decided it was time to go off and just be by myself. I declared it officially Me-Day. What’s not to love about that?
At first I was tempted to fill in my day with time with others. I thought about taking my grandson to see a movie or call a girlfriend I haven’t seen in a while, start and orphanage. J/k. I held back and tried not to feel guilty. It seems selfish to grant myself time alone after having my head in books for the last three months. Don’t I already spend a lot of time alone studying? I remind myself that Jesus set a great example for us to go off by ourselves. We always assume that He was talking to God. But maybe in addition to talking to God, he was walking through the olive grove looking for the perfect logs to carve out a table he wanted to make? The Son of God who served others non-stop for three years needed a break too. Although, unlike me, it is said that Jesus got up while it was dark to go off and pray and be alone. I didn’t get up while it was dark. I slept in then woke up naturally at 8:30a.m, but I did pray.
This morning a treasured girlfriend sent me a text: ‘Happy YOU Day. Hope u r having a great day.” My husband (whose out of town) sent me a text message too, ‘Have a great 'Kim' day’. That was such a blessing to be reminded that those who love me understand my need to go off by myself occasionally. They know what burdens weigh heavy on my heart, they know I’m ‘all in’ when needed, they know I try to spread myself around and connect when I can. So I told myself, "Okay, Kim, go relish YOUR day!!"
Since it was too cold outside to sit under a tree and read a book, I decided to head to the mall to spoil myself a little. I turned my naked winter toes into colorful spring toes. A while back I was given a cool tan hat that says ‘BREATHE’ on it. I love this hat but I don’t wear a lot of tan. I plan on making this hat one of my everyday hats so I set out to buy some tan t-shirts. I found two that I liked on sale. I also just ‘happen’ to stroll by the jewelry accessories and got two pairs of silver hoop earrings on sale too. Score! I hung out at the perfume counter and picked out a few nice scents (but didn’t buy them. I’ve gotta give Rich some ideas for gifts, right?) It was nice to just meander—nothing to do, no place to be. I could just BE in the present and enjoy Me-Day. However the sushi at the food court I didn’t enjoy. I should have known better. Then I decided that I needed a new pair of pajamas (my favorite thing in the world to wear). I found something amazingly soft and comfy but when I went to pay for it she said, “That will be $68.00 dollars please.” I wish I could afford not to blink but I did as I pulled out my reading glasses. I told the lady that I didn’t read the tag correctly without my readers on so I wouldn’t be buying it today—or ever. Then it was off to Barnes & Noble. Some ladies buy shoes or purses, I buy books. Although in this season of my life I have less time to indulge in reading for pleasure. I grabbed two yoga magazines, one book on Myofascial Trigger Points, and two inspirational books. Then I parked myself down on one of those comfy chairs. When the kid behind me started playing with the obnoxious toy that made a clicking noise I was tempted to let him know it was ME-Day and that I was in the middle of reading thank you very much. I decided to focus on his laughter while he played with his toy instead. Folksy music overhead, the lady at the resource desk multitasking with phones and customers, people talking on their cell phones while scanning the shelves, all didn’t matter. I was doing nothing very important and that is what I really needed. Later on I took Fred for a long walk. The shadows on trees told the time. My nose and ears were going to need to thaw when I got home. It’s funny how 35 degrees in March feels different than 35 degrees in December. Sunny and cold was fine with me. I was digging just walking along in the ‘now’ with no expectation placed on Me-Day!!!
