I've been checking
my FB, what seems like, every five minutes waiting for the latest update from Erika on Roo. He is the first prayer in the morning and the last prayer at night. And all through the day, I'm praying. I know many of you are praying with me too. I can't even count how many people have asked or sent me private messages asking about Roo.
I
realized while I was praying for Roo, I was SO fearful and terribly anxious. I questioned what was
that about? Of course, I'm fearful, knowing he's dealing with a double
heart/lung transplant. I don't want him to die. I had fear for Erika she would
lose her beloved husband. I had fear that those precious girls’ of theirs would
grow up without their daddy. I was projecting all these imagined feelings of
what they may be going through.
I had this moment where I was picturing Roo in ICU, receiving my prayers of love. And then it dawned on me that he was receiving my fear...not my love.
Our thoughts do have an energy to them. Ever walk into a room where nobody is speaking but you could cut the tension with a knife?
In this situation, while I was praying, fear was the more predominant vibrational 'energetic feeling'. I was not centered, grounded, or trusting God when I prayed. I was begging.
As I visualized Roo, I had this moment where I wondered if he was receiving my love (our collective love). I sensed him saying, "I don't need your fear, Kim. I need your peace." Whoa!!! Maybe that sense was God? IDK? It was a sense. Maybe I had this moment of conscious awareness for the first time that how I’ve been praying has been inefficient?
I don’t
claim to know how God works in prayer; sometimes things I’ve prayed for have
not been answered; sometimes they have been. What I can tell you is I’ve been
very ‘attached’ to what I believed ‘should’ be the outcome. And when I prayed
like that there was anxiety in those prayers.
Jill
Bolte-Taylor talks at length in her book, 'Stroke of Insight', about her massive stroke. When it first happened, she couldn’t understand language or speak. However, she
could feel the energy of others in her hospital room. She knew who walked in that
had calm, healing energy (her mother was one of those people). She knew who
walked in the room that had an agenda and didn’t make a connection to her (a
tech or nurse or doctor or a frantic relative). It was intuitive, subtle body energies of
others she picked up without language. My favorite line in the book is, 'Be
responsible for the energy you bring into the room.'
Jesus wasn’t anxious when he prayed or healed. He also didn’t have attachments to the outcome. ‘Not my will, but thy will be done.’
Philippians 4:6-7 - 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. And the ‘peace' of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hear and mind in Christ Jesus.'
I guess, what I’m saying is lets notice our energy before we lift up prayers to Roo. Is it fearful? Is it anxious? If so, that is normal. Take a minute or two and ground yourself in the present moment with your breath. Allow the peace of God to come over you, and then pray with faith. Faith is about trusting God, not for a specific outcome, but to do what is best, and then resting in that awareness.
God
already knows the outcome of Roo’s monumental surgery. He’s way ahead of us.
What I
know of Roo, he would not want us to be afraid. He trusted his life to God with
all his heart, mind, and spirit.
For now, Roo
needs my peace. He needs everyone to enter into his presence (his story) with
the energy of hope and love. I’m not sure what God is doing on a microcellular or spiritual level to heal Roo? I know God hears our prayers. And if
my calm energy or your calm energy can help, then lets chill out. Send forth a
positive energy of love and peace and possibility across the room and across
the country. He’d like that.
