My New Year's Desires

I spent some time writing out my goals for 2014 on New Year’s Day. Even if I don’t accomplish them, I like resolutions and goal setting; I enjoy having something to strive for in the future that will make me feel like I did something productive personally and professionally. It's the closest thing to hitting the reset button on life. When I was done writing out my list I was proud of myself for getting it done. I was excited about my 2014 declarations.

The next day, I came back to add to the list and ‘poof' it was gone. “What the hell?” was my first reaction. It was practically a perfect bucket list for the year ahead. I was frustrated because I knew I couldn’t duplicate it; and God knows when I’d have the time or motivation to write it out again.

This nagging feeling about the vanishing ‘list’ of goals has been with me now a week. It was bugging me. When I sat with the feeling I realized that it wasn’t the goals themselves, or my limited ability to recall them because of having less brain cells then I did last year. No, it was how I felt wanting to accomplish some of those things. I was afraid if I didn’t find the ‘the list’ I wouldn’t feel prepared for the New Year ahead. But then it hit me: ‘I wouldn’t feel’. Danielle LaPort’s book, The Desire Map came across my path to help me flesh this out.

When we don’t complete our goal or New Year’s Resolutions it was because we were driven by ‘doing instead of being’. Getter done! Check! When we accomplish things that matter to us, it’s because of our passion. No passion, no action.

  

Anything that really matters to me, why I continue to put earnest effort into something, is about how it makes me feel. ‘Behind every desire there is a feeling and your feelings will lead you to your soul’--Danielle LaPorte. How do I want to feel ‘after’ I get done at the gym or doing yoga? What is the feeling I love about getting up early when I really want to stay in bed where it’s warm? How do I feel when I take time to go serve someone who is in need even though my schedule is busy? What is the feeling I get from practicing mindfulness? There are things that are hard for me to do too, things that I procrastinate over constantly. So instead of putting them off, I need to think about the feeling I want to have when I’m done writing a marketing copy piece. Or the feeling of satisfaction I get when I prepare clean meals.

The transformational fuel for 2014 is my ‘desire’ to feel a certain way. Desire is the key (and I’m not talking about sexual desire. But that’s not a bad item on the list either).  J

D. H. Lawrence said, “Men are not free when they are doing just what they like. Men are only free when they are doing what the deepest self likes.” So what are some of my deep yearnings, longing and wishes that will spur on my heart’s desires in 2014?

Going off the memory of the vanished New Year’s list of goals was a feeling for each thing I want to accomplish. Instead of To Do’s, here are my New Year’s Desires that will propel me forward; feelings that will make me want to get up and be fully engaged everyday.

I want to feel crazy joyful

I want to feel still

I want to feel rested

I want to feel uninhibited 

I want to feel sweetness

I want to feel belonging

I want to feel creative

I want to feel peaceful

I want to feel leaner

I want to feel wonder

I want to feel enlightened

I want to feel present

I want to feel balance

I want to feel peace

I want to feel warmth

I want to feel confident

I want to feel amused

I want to feel energized

I want to feel brave

I want to feel clarity

I want to feel proficient

I want to feel child-like

I want to feel risk

I want to feel hope

I want to feel my feet underneath me as I walk along on my path

For 2014, what do you want to feel?