October 2014: I know many were in a panic about Ebola. When it first came to the U.S. My first thought was, “Shit! This is how the Bubonic Plague and Small Pox pandemic started." My second thought, “What does the CDC, WHO, and The White House know that we don’t know? Of course they can’t tell us. It would be utter panic.” My third thought is, “Kim, you’re a freak. Calm down.”
This Germaphobia started when I was a little girl. My grandmother would teach me how to properly wash my hands and cover my mouth when I sneezed. She spoke with such gravity about germs and wearing a camisole in wintertime, so I didn’t catch ’the death of me', I paid attention like my life depended on it. In my late teens and early twenties I worked for several dentists. That set my neurosis. I would forever know how long a germ was alive on a counter or person’s mouth. Too much information is dangerous. And yes, ignorance is Bliss (I’m married to him). But when I worked for the dentists, I got to wear scrubs and a mask.
I know Germophobes are irrational to some degree. However, when I get sick, it goes right to my chest and feels like it’s on fire. I’ll be down for the count for weeks and begging Jesus to take me home. This is because of having bronchitis or pneumonia one too many times; my respiratory system is a tad overly suspicious of that hanky you keep pulling out of your pocket and wiping your nose with.
Germs are either a virus or bacterium. Each behaves differently.
Since it was the 80’s when I worked for a dentist, AIDS was a big concern. The AIDS virus is fragile and only lives for a few hours. Hepatitis B are hardy and can survive up to a week. Small Pox is tenacious. It also depends on our immune system and our hygiene practices. According the Myth Busters, The Safe Sneeze on YouTube video, Sneezing into your hand, will shoot up to 9.5 feet away. Sneezing into your elbow 0.5 feet. Of course, what do your hands touch after the sneeze: cellphone, remote control, faucets, computer mouse, money, door knob, keyboard, bathroom doors. If you sneeze into your elbow, do you hug anyone after that?
The good news, according to Dr. Gerba, ‘The top of the toilet seat in your office is cleaner than the top of your desk. 400x more bacteria on the top of the desk, and most colds and flu viruses can last about two to three days on a surface. Stomach viruses can last up to 30 days.’ I couldn’t even watch Sponge Bob without out being grossed out.
How do you know you’re a Germaphobe?
Here is a little test.
1) You don’t mind if someone cancels their plans if they are sick.
What goes through my mind: “Thank you sweet Jesus!”
2) Looking at the menu or salt & pepper at a restaurant, you secretly wish you could put on gloves. (I love winter for this reason only.)
What goes through my mind: “I’ll just use this napkin to open the menu and pick up the salt & pepper and no one will ever see how weird I am.”
3) You don’t share food, makeup, or soap with others.
What goes through my mind: “Oh Hell-to-the-No!”
4) Your friend’s child has a runny, snotty nose:
What goes through my mind: “What color is it? Clear I can stay for 30 minutes. Yellow or Green, I’m so sorry but I have to scoot. Lets connect again real soon…..when your adorable child isn’t infecting everyone around them.”
5) If you’re spouse is recently sick, you don’t mind keeping your distance.
What goes through my mind: “Let me just slip into something a little more comfortable like my pink hazmat suit, Darling!”
What goes through my mind: “Thank you sweet Jesus!”
2) Looking at the menu or salt & pepper at a restaurant, you secretly wish you could put on gloves. (I love winter for this reason only.)
What goes through my mind: “I’ll just use this napkin to open the menu and pick up the salt & pepper and no one will ever see how weird I am.”
3) You don’t share food, makeup, or soap with others.
What goes through my mind: “Oh Hell-to-the-No!”
4) Your friend’s child has a runny, snotty nose:
What goes through my mind: “What color is it? Clear I can stay for 30 minutes. Yellow or Green, I’m so sorry but I have to scoot. Lets connect again real soon…..when your adorable child isn’t infecting everyone around them.”
5) If you’re spouse is recently sick, you don’t mind keeping your distance.
What goes through my mind: “Let me just slip into something a little more comfortable like my pink hazmat suit, Darling!”
6) Family gatherings are stressful (especially in the wintertime).
What goes through my mind: “Okay, if I go, I see possibly 5-10 days minimum of Vicks Vapor rub in my future.”
7) You panic when someone sneezes without cover their mouth.
What goes through my mind: “What is wrong with you? Thank you for the plague jerk!”
8) Going to the doctors office for God only knows what:
What goes through my mind: “Where is the gallon size bottle of Anti-Bacteral Gel? And those magazines are a petri-dish experiment.”
9) As soon as a sick house guest leave you whip out the Lysol:
What goes through my mind: “Die you Rhinovirus bitch!”
10) Getting on airplanes makes you break out into a cold sweat.
What goes through my mind: “When is the last time this plane has been wiped down and disinfected? Oh never? Let me just spray my Thieves essential oils and ignore you for the remainder of the flight unless the plane is about to crash.”
11) Public Transportation raises your blood pressure.
What goes through my mind: “For the love of Gene Roddenberry when are they going to invent transporters? Excuse me, pardon me, I’ll just gladly sit at the back of the bus or train, not touch anything, and hold my breath until I get off at the next possible stop.”
12) Someone invites you to soak in their hot tub.
What goes through my mind: I just laugh out loud.
13) You walk into a hotel room and die a little. (20/20 ruined me for life)
What goes through my mind: “Help me, God!”
14) You hate public bathrooms.
What goes through my mind: “What would G.G. do? (G.G. was my grandmother) Cover the seat, flush with her foot, wash and drip dry her hands. Exit quickly”
15) You have to leave a public building or a room and have to pull the door open.
What goes through my mind: "Let me just use my sleeve or purse handle to pull this icky-grody-handle." (Again, the only good reason for winter is wearing gloves.) I'm so happy when I see push doors. Someone was thinking! :-)
While Ebola is filling up the airwaves with news of quarantines, I’m sure our country is on it. This terrible disease won’t spread. The things we need to be aware of are things that can really kill us according to a CNN report by the CDC:
RSV Respiratory Syncytial Virus (Almost every child has this before they are 2yrs old.) RSV spreads through coughs and sneezes and is serious for Seniors—14,000 people die over 65 from it annually. The Flu spreads from droplets from slick people coughs and sneezes. 75,000 test positive for it in 2012-13. There are 3,000 to 49,000 deaths a year. Norovirus spreads from an infected person, contaminated food, water, or surface attributing to 570-800 deaths a year. HIV infects 50,000 a year through bodily fluids or infected needles and in 2010 there were about 15,000 deaths.
So many things can get us sick. Everything from Influenza to Staphylococcus.
However, the real good news:
Plus we can do many things to stay healthy to keep our immune systems high.
The obvious things are:
WASH YOUR HANDS (20 seconds min). 1 in 3 of Americans (33%) don’t wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. Gross!!!
COVER YOUR MOUTH IF YOU SNEEZE OR COUGH (into the elbow is acceptable)
STAY HOME IF YOU ARE SICK (you are a walking petri-dish)
GET PLENTY OF SLEEP (I am working on that…always)
CLEAN THE HOT SPOTS (desks, phones, sinks, door nobs) Tea Tree oil with Vinegar and water spay is a safe non-chemical cleaner
INCREASE ZINC (nuts, spinach, oysters, beans, pumpkin seeds)
GET OFF SUGAR AND PROCESSED FOODS (don’t roll your eyes, it keeps your immune system strong)
STRENGTHEN GUT (take healthy, natural good bacteria probiotics and microbes, yogurt, kefir, unpasteurized sauerkraut, kombucha tea.)
Needless to say, I don’t have very many friends. Adrian Monk and I could have been good friends.
