I Can't Live Without Books

I Can't Live Without Books ~ Thomas Jefferson 

We are in the countdown phase to permanently moving to Florida. I’ve been packing and purging.

We’ve had a few garage sales to get rid of the clutter I’ve managed to collect over the last 10 years living on Pomeroy Ave. I think Rich only has about 5 things he owns; he reminds me it’s all my stuff.

We have managed to amass thousands of books over the years together. We’re a few levels just below hoarders. Thankfully, we had a large space above the garage. The entire loft was a library. We both love books. Some people like shoes, purses, jewelry, sport equipment or tools. Rich and I love books. On our honeymoon we found the first of its kind discount bookstore. It was like going to Mecca. We had to buy luggage to cart home the books.

We knew we were meant for each other when we went to the book store for the first time. We walked in and smiled at each other and said, “See ya later.” I’d go off to one section of the book store and he’d go off to another. Occasionally we’d meet in the same aisle—each holding a stack of books in our hands. We were in our happy place. We could stay as long as we’d like without feeling bad.

After a few hours we’d meet near the comfy chairs or on the floor in a corner and weed through our stacks of books together. Sometimes he’d look at me and say, “Only one!” I’d laugh to myself and think, “okay, whatever you say”, then justify to him at the checkout line why I really needed this ‘other’ book on Ketogenics.

I’ve gone through more book genre stages than Rich. He typically buys History, Business, Religion, and occasionally Fiction books. I’ve gone through all those book phases too, and have filled bookshelves. However, I’m a non-fiction junky. Non-fiction is subjective and addictive. I’ve got books on Self-Help, Autobiographies, Diet and Nutrition, How-To, Travel, Music, Animals, Yoga and Meditation, and Scientific Resources—just to name a few. I’ve yet to find a book on how to stop your book obsession. 

I’m not a Nook or a Kindle or iPad person. In fact, my iPad sat on my nightstand for two years until I sold it at our recent garage sale for forty-dollars. I like the feeling of the appropriate weight of a book in my hands. I like turning real pages. I make notes and underline everything. However, sadly, I can’t say I’ve retained all the information.

My perfect day: under a tree, by the lake, on a hammock, with a book, eating pate, cheese and crackers, and drinking ice tea or wine out of an adult-sippy cup (depending on the time of day). 

There have been many despairing times I was drawn to the right book at the right time. Subconsciously, I needed encouragement or a smack upside the head. Thirsty for knowledge, I’d sop up the wisdom of others like a desperate dog trying to quench her thirst. I can’t count how many times books gave me motivation to get back on my path.   

  

It was a difficult decision to realize that we had to get rid of most of our books. I told Rich we could only take six bins each full of books; twelve bins total, no exceptions. That’s a lot of books to purge. I kept saying, “If we can check it out of the library, it has to go.”

I’d like to tell you that it was a spiritual experience to ‘lighten’ ones load. I kept waiting for the energetic shift as I let go of my attachments. The only good thing that came out of our purging was if we died, we saved our kids days of back-breaking work.

When my grandmother was being transitioned from her apartment to the Senior Health Center, she had to discard her books. It was one of the few times I saw my grandmother become undone. She’d hand me one book at a time, and look at me with earnestness, saying, “Kimmy, promise me you’ll read this book.” She was entrusting them to my care. They were the Classics, and her childhood memories.  After about the tenth book, without thinking I said, “Gram, I can’t promise you I’ll read all of these books.” She got up and walked over to her Day-Bed, laid down, and turned her back on me and started to cry. Today, I understood why it was so painful. Getting rid of my beloved books was a bibliophile’s Sophie’s Choice. It put me in a funk too.

We sold as many books as we could for a quarter each at the garage sale. Rich calculated over the years, we’ve spent about $40,000 in books. We had about half of that in random books up in the loft/library above the garage. We sold about $200 at the garage sale. Yeah, that was painful too. What we didn’t sell we packed up in large black garage bags and gave to Purple Heart Veterans Donations.

God was bracing me with this first wave of goodbyes. Next month will be the hardest: saying goodbye to our lifelong friends and family. Like my books, I want to take them all with me.