Medical Hope

I have hope. 

For the past few years, I've been trying to take my health seriously. I became a whole food plant based vegan to heal my liver disease and kidney disfunction. It's been encouraging but slow going. 

There has been a lot to overcome: vegan stereotypes, judgment, cluelessness and manipulating restaurant servers and chefs, people pleasing, learning how to cook and travel as a vegan, insecurity around others, ignorance, and cultural food addictions just to name a few. But the hardest, most perplexing part has been my frustration with weight loss as a vegan. Why am I eating so well but not really losing weight? Why isn't my liver healing faster? 

I didn't have the answers yet. But my intention was to find out two things: How do I heal my liver? How do I loose the stubborn weight I've gained in the last 5 years since becoming post-menopausal. 

I was ready to get honest about a few things too. I had great stories and excuses for why I emotionally ate. But those stories are in my head, in the past, and don't serve me anymore. Dwelling on the past losses, disappointments, and diet misinformation is what got me to this place. It was time to stop pretending I was okay physically   when I really wasn't. 

Rich and I are always wondering why aren't we the skinny vegans you see at Whole Foods or in the yoga videos. Compared to the average person whose daily diet includes an Egg McMuffin for breakfast, to our oatmeal with flaxseed and banana, to their cheeseburger and fries for lunch, to our ginormous salad with beans, to their meat topped pizza with a coke for dinner, to our flatbread with water. Dammit, I even gave up drinking alcohol. Why do we weigh about the same weight as meat eaters?  Rich and I eat really well. Or so we thought. 

So what's a middle aged, post-menopausal vegan girl with liver disease to do? I needed more answers from doctors who were also eating the same way. I needed plant based medical experience and more education. I love my local doctor; she's a vegetarian. But she's young (child-bearing years) and is as thin as a rail. What does she know about shame, cellulite, or spandex? When my last liver ultrasound came back unchanged, I was desperate. I don't want to have a stroke, heart attack, or cancer. 

NC Black Mountains

I signed up for the Engine 2 Medical Immersion in North Carolina. I went a few weeks ago. It was life changing. And I'd highly recommend it for anyone who is actively pursuing health change, but needs more knowledge about lifestyle and behavior change, support, with some scientific resources and medical consultations. 

Two of the top doctors who are Plant-Based legends were at the immersion: Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn and Dr. Michael Klaper. (If you ever saw Forks Over Knives or What The Health or Cowspiracy it was those two amazing doctors.) I got to have one-on-one personal medical consultations with them. I'm so grateful that I did. What they both said will forever alter my health. They explained why I wasn't healing my liver fully and how I could lose weight safely and permanently. 

Let me first share about the immersion, and then tell you what the doctors said. 

We are unplugged in NC in the Black Mountains. It was gorgeous. We had beautiful 75 degree weather for the entire week. The Medical Immersion is hosted by Rip Esselstyn of Engine 2 books, also in Forks Over Knives documentary - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9LMezWH5DA 

Rip left being a firefighter and became a Healthy Plant Advocate and the creator of the no oil Engine 2 products (hummus, cereals, pizza crusts, etc) that are at Whole Foods. He too is a respected leader in the plant-based vegan world. He was joined at the immersion by his entire family, parents and siblings. We got to watch up close and personal his family live what they teach. They were all so joyful, approachable, and desire to serve. 

Rip Esselstyn

I was one of the first to arrive at the immersion (of course). I was just sitting there looking at my phone. A man walks over, puts out his hand and says, "You're here. Welcome." It was Rip. I must have looked hungry after getting up at 3 am to take two flights. All I had was a banana. He said, "Go down there to the dining room. They still have the staff lunch set out. Go eat. I'll see you soon." For the rest of the week, I watched Rip be a servant to everyone. I watched him light up when his wife and kids entered the room. I saw the passion and sense of mission he had to help 75 people become educated about 'true' healing plant based eating to reverse disease and gain quality of life. I've been to about 25 conferences in my life with all the yoga trainings and other jobs I've had. I've never been to one so engaging, supportive, intentional, and behaviorally transforming. 

We were up by 6am to get our biometrics (weight, blood pressure, and lipid panel). Because what you eat, the fat will show up in your blood and stay in your blood for hours (see Game Changers movie coming out this fall for more on that subject). We were encouraged to move throughout the event. You could go hiking, do yoga, amp it up with a HIIT class, or swim or walk, or break out into spontaneous dance with Jane Esselstyn. I hiked (in the forest with snakes and bears). I also took wonderful, gentle, restorative yoga classes 2x a day. After moving, we ate. Each meal we sat at a different table and met new people and heard their stories why they were there: they wanted to prevent the disease of cancer or diabetes that runs in their family, they had open heart surgery and were now on tons of meds or statin drugs. They had cancer, or their son committed suicided and they needed to take back their own health. Some men were sent by their wives; some knew they needed to be there or else they would die soon. Some were like me: vegans who had a health issue, knew about heathy eating, but were off enough in their trajectory they were missing the mark. We laughed. We got choked up and cried. We were a tribe of plant eaters who made friends over potatoes, lentil burgers, steamed greens, and all the fruit and veggies you wanted to eat. 

Me finishing the hike-Big dang deal! 

lentil burgers, hummus, salad

polenta, sweet potato, walnut sauce, tomato,  basil pesto, balsamic reduction 

I made fast friends with a woman named, Shari, from the Miami area. As the Universe would have it, I asked her if she happened to know the only lawyers in Miami Florida we were friends with. She did. She actually loved them dearly and worked with them both. That was a fun connection. And we both sat upfront (of course) for all the medical and nutritional lectures and were on the same page about everything being discussed. It was so wonderful to have a new like-minded friend. My roommate was so sweet too. But she was there with her brother and sister-in-law, so I was kinda on my own. I'm glad I met Shari from the beginning. We had a blast. 

My Florida yang to my yin, Shari

So let me get super honest. You know those selfies you see of me, ever wonder why I don't show my entire body? I don't have to tell you; you already know. I've had so much shame. Some days, I can't believe I look the way I do. What has happened in the last 5 years has shocked me. And I know what it's like when I see someone whose gained weight. It's the first thing you notice. But this week in NC something shifted for me. I'm not afraid anymore to be real. I know why I gained that weight. I know how to FINALLY take it off and keep it off. 

Not a selfie - Rip & Shari & Me 

And, I'd like to be even more real (for a purpose)  moving forward. So here goes: I was 190.8lbs when I started the medical immersion. A week later, I lost 6.4lbs. And returning home, I lost a total of 10lbs. I lost 10lbs in two weeks! Now, if you know me, you know that this is nothing short of a miracle. In the past, I would lose a 1/2-lb after a week of working out like a fanatic and eating perfect. I didn't do that in NC. I took it easy at the immersion on purpose; I put myself in a relaxed, open mindset. I was there to learn. I was there to get medical facts and the truth. I ate so much plant based food--especially fruit. There was no way after eating all that food and fruit did I think I was going to lose weight. How did this happen? 

Actually it was just science and the healing benefits of eating ONLY plant strong, no oil, nutritionally dense meals. 

There are billion dollar industries like the big pharma, insurance, diet, fast food, etc., that don't even need to exist according to Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn. 

If you are unable to reverse your cardiovascular or kidney disease, lower your blood pressure, reverse your diabetes, lose weight, get off allergy meds, reverse erectile disfunction, and keep your risk of cancer low (by avoiding meat based protein and dairy), then eating this way is an option. It may truly be the only option. It was for me. Most importantly, it's working and I am seeing my health consistently getting better.

I want to share what Dr. Esselstyn and Dr. Klaper said to me in my private consultations. In a lot of ways, they both said the same things. Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn was the velvet hammer. Dr. Klaper was like meeting the plant Pope. 

Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn

Dr. Michael Klaper

Throughout the entire medical immersion, they reinforced with nutritional data the benefits of eating whole food plant based no oil, no processed vegan 'frankenfoods' or baked goods (crackers, breads, cookies, etc). Why? Because they all have oil. Oil is damaging to the endothelium cells in the lining of our arteries, and puts us at risk for cardiovascular disease. Even those Beyond Burgers and Impossible Burgers that are delicious and a great transition vegan food, they are full of fat and soy protein isolates. All week long, the doctors reminded us to increase our greens (to heal our arteries) eat only plant-strong meals, and absolutely 100% no oil. 

Dr E: Hi Kim. Tell me your situation.
Me: Blah blah blah... I can't heal my liver and lose weight. 
Dr E: How long have you been eating 100% plant based no oil? 
Me: Um, I do really well. I eat 95% at home. You know, the occasional flat bread or tortilla will have oil. And when I'm out of town or eating out with my husband or friends, I'd say I was about 80-85%. 
Dr E: How long have you been 100%? 
Me: Um, if you put it that way, I guess, never. 
Dr E: So then, you're NOT treating your disease. 
Me: *Sitting in shock at the obvious* 
Dr E: Kim, you have to be 100% if you ever want to heal your liver. You can't have any oil and no baked goods. 
Me: *Sitting there feeling like he knew I ate Whole Foods Vegan Chocolate Chip cookies once a week as a reward for existing on this planet.* 
Dr E: Your only going to heal your liver when you heal your endothelium cells in the lining of your arteries, which brings healthy blood flow to your liver. That is when you'll lose the weight. 
Me: It's difficult because we travel and socialize and eat out a lot as empty nesters. That's where I get in trouble, I think. I mean, I eat healthy. But there is oil in things I eat. 
Dr E: Nobody is putting a gun to your head. 
Me: I know. 
Dr E: Why would you ever want to injure your endothelium cells? 
Me: *I basically got a crash course on the science of repairing my endothelium cell an hour earlier.*  
Me: I don't want to do that.  I just don't know how to sustain eating this way when I eat out or travel. Eating at home will be easy. My husband is super supportive and wants to eat this way too for his own health. 
Dr E: *Looking at me as if my life depended on it* 
Dr E: When you are out, you tell them, "I'm deathly allergic to oil. I'm under the care of a doctor from the Cleveland Clinic, I can't have oil." 
Me: That sounds great. I have always envied your patients who get to be in your studies. 
Dr E: It is great. And you're going to lose the weight and feel better in no time at all. This is not going to be a problem for you. Just stay 100%. 
Me: Okay, I will. Thank you so much, Dr. Esselstyn. I came to this immersion to learn from you and to have you tell me the truth. I need to hear this from you. 
Dr E: *Big smile Shakes my hand* 

That was one of the most lightening bolt conversations about my health I have ever had. I knew from seeing Dr. Esselstyn's research he doesn't mess around with his patients by coddling them. I'll never forget that conversation as long as I live.  

Dr Klaper was a little different in tone. But his truth was the same. I have a non-sexual fangirl crush on Dr. Klaper. He's so smart and adorable. I was sorta giddy in his presence.  

First I gave him my health profile. 

Dr K: So, this liver disease and weight loss issue problem is not a problem. 
Me: Really? *Shocked* 
Dr K: Sure. This is a blip on the screen.You know what you need to do now. Eat more green and yellow vegetables. 
Dr K: *pulls up a picture of organs and liver on his laptop* 
Dr K: See that? *pointing to the liver and intestines* 
Me: Yes. 
Dr K: Look how close your liver is to your intestines (where you get all your nutrition). Your liver has been in distress for years. Oil and bakery, flour products will do that. 
Me: *shit, he knows I eat Whole Food vegan cookies too.* 
Dr K: The blood runs through here (intestines), right to your liver. If you don't cheat, in fact, you can't cheat, you'll be fine. 
Me: Really? *Mild state of shock* 
Dr K: Sure *with the biggest smile on his face*
Me: Yeah, but, how do I sustain this? I've never been able to sustain a diet for longer than 6 months.
Me: Wait a minute. Well, I guess I've been vegan for 2-1/2 years. So there's that. 
Dr K: It's the food. Welcome to Camp Stop Kidding yourself. You don't ever have to diet again. This is what your body was created to eat. 
Me: Your right. I intuitively know that. 
Dr K: You're going to lose the weight. Your liver is going to be fine in no time at all. 
Me: *In tears because he just gave me the hope I came to hear.* 
Me: May I ask you one last question?
Dr K: Sure *same bright smile* 
Me: I'm not hungry in the morning, ever. My husband wants to eat when he wakes up. Do I have to force myself to eat when I'm not hungry just so I eat enough calories as a vegan. 
Dr K: * Still smiling because he probably has answered this question a thousand times before.* 
Dr K: No, you can fast for as long as you like until you're hungry. Eat when you're hungry. Don't eat if you're not hungry. Humans have been doing that for hundreds of thousands of years. Even lions don't eat meat 3x a day. 
Me: Good point. 
Dr K: Intermittent fasting is good. Just do what your body is telling you to do. It's that simple. 
Me: Sounds good. 
Dr K: * parting words* 
Dr K: 100%. No Oil. No cheating. Walk every day that you can too. 
Me: Got it. Thank you, Dr Klaper. May I give you a hug? You gave me so much hope. 
Dr K: Sure    
Me: *Blushing* 

How many times have you gone to the doctor, you told them your problem and they gave you a Rx? 
This has been my experience. Doctors don't want to offend people. They know they have food addiction issues. But they don't help them with those kinds of addictions. They take the path of least resistance and they give out pills. Stop handing out pills! All they have to do is tell people the truth; tell them to exercise, eat more vegetables, and don't come back. Dr. Esselstyn says it's unconscionable and immoral that doctors break their hippocratic oath by only treating symptoms and not the real problem: the food and the behavior. 

Yes, what Rich and I are now doing is pretty radical. But as far as I'm concerned, it's Welcome to Camp Stop Kidding Yourself. I can do this, because I'm pretty radical too, and can be disciplined when I need to be. That said, I will need your help, friends. When we are together, you eat what you want to eat. Enjoy. Stop saying sorry when your house smells like bacon or pork. Stop saying sorry when you want to eat a steak in front of me. I don't care. Well, I do care for your endothelium cells now and your arteries. But I've been in your shoes; I used to love those foods too; I know how hard it is to give it up; and I know how much you love food (meat/cheese) and hate eating veggies. 

However, I'll need some grace when we eat out together. You'll have to listen to me over and over be a PITA (pain in the ass) with the chef or server telling them, "I'm under doctors orders, I can't have any oil in my food." Please support me and don't judge. Otherwise, I can't eat out with you. Some places will be accommodating. Some places, I won't ever have to say anything. And, there may be times when there will be nothing for me to eat. That's okay. I won't starve. Don't feel bad for me. I'll get better at bringing something for me to eat, like a big apple. I'm not there for the food anymore. I'm there for the company. For now, eating this way just seems right for me. I want to focus on a sustainable health span vs typical life span. My new motto is "nothing tastes as good as healthy feels."