Take Rx...Call Me In The Morning

Why do we choose to do things that don’t serve our minds, bodies, or spirit? Why do we avoid doing the right thing?

Some people say it’s our sin nature. Maybe? Romans: 7:15 

‘I do not understand what I do. For what I WANT to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do.’

I spent my whole life spiritually damning myself (often to hell) for my sin-nature or for not getting a grip on my addictions: over-eating, gossip, jealousy, over-spending, anger, or pride. Seriously, I’m talking 35+ years of religiously going to my knees, in quiet time in prayer to talk it over with God on a daily basis. I’ve got journals to prove it. I asked (and begged) the Holy Spirit for help. Sometimes, it seemed, I got some help but only briefly. There was never any lasting transformation. That made me feel like I was a dropped off on the side of the road, like an unwanted kitty in the rain. Didn't God love me? I was consciously aware that I was flawed. Isn't that what He wanted, my utter dependance and remorse? Why couldn't He fix me? 

Did God let me down? You bet He did!!! 

However, when I questioned that stressful thought I realized, no, I wasn’t abandoned by God. I made wrong assumptions. And honestly, sometimes I chose to run away (like a pouty child, who had no understanding of the bigger picture of why my parents asked me to do my homework). I took the easier route and did nothing except throw softball-prayers up to God to fix me; I did the least work possible to keep up appearances to get a passing grade. I often did this in school and in life.

God offered me lots of ways to become free through spirit. However, I consciously and unconsciously chose NOT to be free from my harmful behaviors; I didn’t REALLY want to do that work of questioning a lifetime of conditioned 'thought' patterns. When the going got tough, I’d pull the ‘Popeye Card’—I am what I am. Classic Kim avoidance move.

The simple invitation God offers is to: “Take Captive EVERY Thought, or Cast ALL your cares on Him, or Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worries of itself.” For me, unknowingly, it was easier to be a victim of my feelings, thoughts, or memories. I was more comfortable blaming God or others than applying any real change to my life. Beside I was pretty attached to some of those thought patterns. And you better believe that I felt I earned the right to hang on to many of those emotions attached to those thought patterns. 

But here is the cool thing. What has been conditioned can be unconditioned. If the neural pathways are not damaged, the conditioned mind can transmogrify. It does take time, but it can change. 

I’m more than just spirit. I am mind and body also. I spent my life living more on a spiritual plane with God. Not a bad place to live contemplating things of God. However, it wasn’t balanced. I was good at thinking God kind-of-thoughts but not very good at living out God’s simple ways. I was completely, and I mean almost completely, disconnected from my mind and my body. I just suffered with my mind and body. 

I concluded my stressful thoughts were who I was; I never questioned the conditioned or limited beliefs. I thought my body was just to get me from one place to the next; I didn’t serve or support or have a relationship with it. I put all the responsibility on God. And in return, I believed myself into feel abandoned on some level.  

I have been giving this incredible body to live and steward. I’ve been given this inestimable brain. I had no clue that my mind had been running on automatic pilot, or that I adapted to the behaviors of others around me on a subconscious level.

I can’t undo these destructive actions or habits UNTIL I bring them out into the light (consciously…without judgement through observation). Some say, confess your sins before God. I actually don’t think God is looking for our constant apology for being human. NOBODY was more sorry for being human than me! I do think He wants us to look at our thoughts and what we created that holds us back from being free.

We are spirit beings. We also have a highly, adapted brain that make us an evolved being. Our brain is a universe in it’s own right: energetic, expansive, mysterious, and ethereal (because of consciousness). The article “Memories May Not Live In Neurons’ Synapses” by Roni Jacobson states, ‘The idea that synapses store memories has dominated neuroscience for more than a century, but a new study by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles, may fundamentally upend it: instead memories may reside inside the brain cells.’ Just this one scientific finding is a game changer on how we process thoughts. 

We can transform old habits when we replace those old tapes. However we can’t do that in one or two sittings. I don’t even believe we have to go to counseling to do a deep dive. We need a DAILY habit of conscious awareness of our thoughts in the present moment. Here, in the moment, we are able to question old thoughts (sort of like defragging a computer) and then downloading new conscious data that is true, sustainable, loving, supportive, and empowering. When I learn how to do this in meditation, life as I knew it changed.

We don’t need to blame our old bosses who gave us a pink-slip and escorted us out of the building, our parents, our siblings, our ex-lovers, or friends who broke our heart. We just need to learn how to NOTICE what we are thinking (without judgment). We need to learn how to live in the present moment. We don’t just ‘take captive SOME thoughts’. We ‘take captive EVERY thought’. That is what’s required to be healed or transformed. It’s a lifetime commitment to continually update the software data in the mind through meditation. 

We all say we want to FEEL better. We do and we don’t.

Instead of over spiritualizing your nagging habits (e.g., I’m a terrible person who can’t stop sinning or__________________fill in the blame), just consider that the brain has a lot of previous programing. Some of it’s genetic. Some of it we uploaded unconsciously throughout the years. And we wonder why we are left feeling stuck. 

This meme made me wonder how many of us would be willing to do what it takes to feel better? How may of us would be willing to take this Rx and make better choices (food, exercise, sleep, or meditation) instead of blaming others or continuing to shame ourselves with our inner critic?

I’m passionate about mindful-living, breathing, and mindful-meditation because it changes our mind, body, and our spirit for the better.  Daniel Amen says, "Change the brain, change the life." And personally, I want to feel better and enjoy my life and my connection to others and God. (But, without all the negativity attached to it.) So, I'll take the Rx (above) and stop paying the doctor to tell me what I already know. :-D