A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I could have written a 1000 words on each photo.
This was a fun Facebook Marriage Photo Challenge. Rich and I took turns writing for the 7-days, alternating it on our FB page. I decided to save it for posterity.


DAY 1-By Kim: We have been challenged to post marriage pictures from Steve McNitt on Facebook for 7 days. This is 'our' official Day 1 from Aug 7th 1988. This is my favorite picture of Rich looking at me from our wedding. He's always had the kindest eyes. He always looks at me with love and respect. I've always felt heard and understood. I've been blessed since the moment I said 'I DO!!' <3 span="">
We also nominate Jessie and Joe Barton. 

DAY 2- By Rich: This is our honeymoon. I will never get over how gracious (and crazy) it was for Kim to take on 3 more children, plus the 1 she already had, the day she said "I do". We were lucky because each of us genuinely loved all the kids and saw them as our own. 

Day 3-By Kim: With the election season happening, this is a fitting picture. This is one of our favorite days in our 28 years of marriage. October 2010, We spontaneously drove to Washington D.C. to experience Jon Stewarts and Stephen Colbert's Rally To Restore Sanity. (Team Sanity or Team Fear). I was so upset because I hardly recognized my country anymore and felt compelled to go. "Silent Minority, you've been summoned!" Well, 200,000+ Americans also felt compelled and showed up on the National Mall. We got to meet a super cool pastor, Mark Allert, and had a BLAST through laughter, music, and fellowship. (I made a video of it in my FB videos.) This was the anti-political Woodstock. The energy was electric and peaceful. After the day was over, Rich surprised me and took me to see my favorite play HAIR at the Kennedy Center. In all our years together, Rich and I have tracked every political season and enjoyed thousands of political conversations. Our politics have evolved over the years (thanks to thoughtful, open-minded Christians like Steve McNitt). Mostly, I want to remain on Team Sanity with you, Rich Brandt. <3 nbsp="" span="">We also nominate Tamara and Adam Gold. 

Day 4-By Rich:  Kim and I have had hundreds of getaways and vacations, but England was by far our favorite. We loved everything about it (especially scones & clotted cream). Here we are at Shakespeare's birthplace. And from me to you sweetheart: "I would not wish any companion in the world but you" (The Tempest). And I nominate John & MG Tindall to post pictures of their marriage for 7 days.

Day 5-By Kim: One thing I've always loved and appreciated is how Rich 'gets me'. I've had a bucket list (before there was a Bucket List movie). Over the years, he's surprised me to go see or experience or check off something on my Bucket List. This photo was when he drove me to Iowa to go see Michael Buble' in concert. We've always been great road trippers and enjoy doing life together. <3 nbsp="" span="">I nominate Jean & Mark Des Biens to share 7 Days, some of your favorite couple's moments. 

Day 6-By Rich:  Here we are enjoying downtown Chicago--thousands of awesome memories from our beloved hometown. We will always be forever Chicagoans. I nominate Michele & Dick Lemberger to do the 7 Day marriage photo challenge.

Day 7-By Kim: Moving to FL has been another grand adventure (probably our biggest). I like this picture because I'm putting on my brave face. Rich is always smiling. I'm glad we moved here now, while we were younger, instead of 75 and retired. We've been here 10 months. We've had many unexpected challenges that were bigger then us, and we lost Fred suddenly. It's been difficult to be away from people who've 'known us and get us'. Florida can feel like you're on a different planet. At times, it's been painfully lonely, even boring without girlfriends and our couple-friends. I underestimated how long it takes to build new lifelong relationships. But we have each other. We go down to the beach and it feels like home. We walk the ocean shore and the impact of change washes off for the moment. The level horizon reminds me how God is always present. I look out to the ocean and imagine we have a big life ahead us (Lord willing). Life in FL is good; we still feel like we are on vacation. And every day we say, "We live in FLORIDA! We know it won't always be this way; soon we'll have community and refrigerator friendships. Buddha will replace Fred on the couch and someday snuggle (now he wants to bite everything). In the meantime, we'll continue to laugh and love and have deep conversations about existence on this big blue ball in the Universe. There is nobody in the world I'd rather do life with and go on grand adventures with than Rich Brandt. ✌🏼️😎

🌴☀️🌊💖 

BEING Buddha

This is my 6th year Blogaversary. Once a month for the past 6 years, I've journaled a blog that was topical to what's going on in my life (that includes world or local events, soapbox issues, flaws, victories, things I've learned or overcame, life with my hubby, family, friends, neighbors, hopes and dreams, fears and faith, pet peeves, and pets). For my 6th Blogaversary, I'm happy to share something wonderful going on in our lives. We have welcomed a new furry-child into our lives: Buddha.

My name is Buddha Brandt. I’m a Tibetan terrier.  
I was born in Florida.  I’ve only been on this earth for 10-weeks. I’ve been living with Kim (mom) and Rich (dad) for 2-1/2 weeks. 

They told me they named me Buddha because my breed comes from Tibet. And while they follow Christ, they also appreciate Buddha’s wisdom of letting go of thoughts that create suffering (like our tendency to ruminate on the past) and instead to live in the present moment. I’m a reminder of that wisdom. And it’s pretty much what I do well. BEING Buddha. 

First thing some people say, “Oh another terrier?” As if that was a bad thing. I’m actually not of the terrier dog breed. Tibetan Terriers (TT’s for short), were given the name by European travelers because we resemble terriers. I personally don’t see it. The Tibetan name for the breed is Tsang Apso, loosely translated, ‘shaggy or bearded dog.  I think we look like miniature sheep dogs. Our breed dates back thousands of years when TT’s were kept as good luck charms, mascots, watchdogs, herding dogs and companions. We were also considered the Holy Dogs of Tibet. TT’s were never to be sold. Instead, they were given as gifts by monks to promote good fortune. So Kim and Rich are lucky to have me.  

I'm small now, but I'll probably grow to weigh up to 30lbs and be about knee high. I'm told I have beautiful eyes. (presently, they are a hazel color). TT's come in many different colors. I'm a white and gold TT. I have panda feet. They are broad, flat feet with hair between my toes. Which are ideal for mountain climbing. I'm not sure how much mountain climbing I'm going to do in Florida? But I can dig to Tibet with my big paws in the sand or high-five people I meet on the beach. 

I'll probably grow my hair long and put it up in a man bun. I think that looks cool. Don't worry about the hair getting in my eyes; it's what I was bred to look like. I have damn good eyesight. Plus, I have long eyelashes to keep the hair actually out of my eyes. I don't shed but rather slough hair off like human hair. Mom is already got me on the grooming area everyday for 2 minutes to get me used to the brushing. Daily grooming is a TT requirement if I'm going to continue to look selfie-ready. 

.  

I came home on June 12^th. The car ride was 4-hours. Kim sat in the back with me. She put up a soft crate with a cushy bed and a few soft toys to chew in it. She left the flap open so I could go back and forth between her lap and my crate. We had no issues our whole ride home.  I was curious about everything and wanted to look out the windows. I was calm, but I never settled down or slept for more than 10 minutes. 

 Once we got home I was able to check out where I’ll be doing my ‘business’ if you know what I mean? I walked through the house and check things out. They set up two crates: one in the bedroom, and one in the kitchen/family room. The kitchen crate has an attached X-pen (exercise pen). It was filled with toys. It was like Christmas in June. They sat in there with me to keep me company. I had my first dinner at home with Kim and Rich, then passed-out. I was exhausted from all the excitement that day. Kim and Rich officially are my new mom and dad. I could tell they were trying hard to make me happy and comfortable. I was both.

The soft crate was brought into the bedroom right next to mom’s bed. I wasn’t crazy about having the zipper flap closed, but mom was right there all night. She even slept with her hand and arm in there so she could pet me if I woke up. I did wake up, a few times to go outside.

It’s almost been 3-weeks since I’ve come to live here. Mom and dad are more sleep deprived then they imagined. I pass out around 9pm. But I wake up sometime around 3-4am to go potty. And I’m HUNGRY. I have a yelp that could wake up the neighborhood and the dead. They seem a bit grouchy about my barking. Hey, you and the neighbors will thank me if I ever have to wake up the whole neighborhood for any reason, like a zombie apocalypse.

Mom had me alone for the first 12-days. Dad was traveling for work. We did a lot of hammock time. She loved being with me but was shocked at how tired she was by 10:00am. We napped together on and off throughout the day. When dad came home, he took over. He was also surprised how wide-awake I am in the middle of the night, how piercing my bark is, and tired he was by 10:00am too. I think they are going to become morning people whether they like it or not! 

 I’m doing really well with my potty training. Although they watch me like a hawk. Just when I get distracted by a shadow or cardboard paper roll I’ll think, ‘aw, what the heck, I’ll just go here.” They scoop me up and we fly out the door. I’ve only had a few accidents and they swear it’s their fault. Okay, if you say so! 

I have grown 2x my size in just a few weeks. I have a ravenous appetite too. I’m eating 4x a day, plus snacks if I impress them with come, sit, and gentle (gentle is the positive for no biting).  I’m told I’m smart and a real pussy cat except for the one incident where I may have almost took off mom’s hand because she was removing my bowl that had food in it to teach me how to not be dominant about my food. And I may have turned into an ancient werewolf that snapped and growled so fierce that it required mom to back away and ask for professional help from a trainer. So because of that one time I was trying to let her know ‘Back off bitch, I’m not finished’, I no longer get to eat out of a bowl. For the next 2-3 weeks, maybe a month, I have to eat out of her hand like a lowly peasant. She keeps saying that she forgives me for scaring the shit out of her, and that in the end this will be a positive thing. I’m learning to passively receive, passively sit well, eat slowly, by gently licking her hand after each bite of my food she gives me. I don’t get another bit of food until she says, “Gentle’ and I lick her hand. After some time, she will feed me by dropping food into my dish so my brain rewires and knows that she only gives me food and never takes it away. 

 And while I’m on the subject of biting, puppy biting that is. I just have to say, ‘deal with it.’ I’m a puppy. It’s what I do. You took me away from my rough and tumble litter-mates. You are my new playmates. I didn’t mean to rip most of your clothes or rip your flesh. I’ll just be in a bitey mood for a while longer. The cue, ‘sit’ and ‘gentle’ with a treat is helping me ease up. Mom and dad are so desperate they are going to learn how to say Tibetan prayers that I’ll learn soft mouthing and bite inhibition soon. I do well at this age for about 10-15 minutes of free play. Then I usually end up in my X-Pen if I get too much like a crocodile on crack. 

When I’m out of the pen I love to “zoomie” all over the house.  They tell me I’m lighting fast. And with their eyebrows all crinkled and worried, they say it looks like I’ll be able to bound over furniture like an obstacle course real soon. I like the shoes in the hallway (that I’m not suppose to grab). It’s hilarious when they chase after me. I like any kind of cardboard boxes or rolls, plastic water bottles, and ropes to play tug-o-war. I’m pretty good about keeping myself content in my X-Pen for an hour or two while mom and dad are home. If I get bored, I sleep in the corner of the X-pen and the crate. I’m not sure why I do that, but I do. Mom and Dad have started to finally go out and leave me alone for a few hours. I go into my crate without a fuss. It’s nice and roomy. I usually nap the whole time they are gone or chew on something for kicks and giggles. 

I’ve been hearing a lot about their previous dog, Fred. He sounds like a furry dude I would have liked to hang out with. At least once or twice a day they accidently call me Fred. Which they really need to stop doing because I can hardly remember my name is Buddha at this age. I know he was special dog. When they talk about him I can feel their hearts (they don’t know I can feel their hearts, but I can.) They still have an ache for Fred. That actually makes me happy because they loved him so much. Which means, I’ll be loved so much too. That makes me feel peaceful and safe. And long after I’m gone, they will have an ache in their hearts for me too. But for now, I’m going to be their Guardian of BEING. I’ll teach them how to live in the present moment and enjoy life right now. And anyone else that wants to learn how to live in the present moment (which is the only moment we have, you can follow me on Facebook at BEING Buddha. I'm going to share what BEING is all about. I'll make lot of new friends and go on adventures. This life is pretty spectacular. Mom reminds me of that all the time when she's cuddling me. 

 https://www.facebook.com/BEING-Buddha-226244617743889/

Dear Thomas

Dear Thomas,

You’ll get a bunch of graduation cards with money. You’ll spend it in no time at all (probably on a pizza or hot plate for your dorm). Instead, I thought I’d give you something else of considerable more value: words of wisdom and affirmation as you enter into your first year of college, and your first year on your own in life. 

I went into adulthood clueless. I wish I’d been more prepared for the nuances of life by a wise elder friend or relative; it’s probably why I appreciate sagacity to this day. (Yeah, look up that word, it may be on a test.)

Someone once told me ‘5 minutes Can Change The Rest Of  Your Life’ (for good or for bad):

You’re going to be FREE, finally. It’s going to feel amazing and probably overwhelming. You may be tempted to go crazy because your brain is trying to take it all in. Caution gets thrown to the wind. PAUSE. PAUSE. PAUSE. Do that a lot. That 5-minutes you took to observe your actions, and the actions of others, instead of reacting will make all the difference. It may save your life; it may save the life of another. That 5-minutes you choose to go to class or blow off your class will determine if you’re proud of yourself or kicking yourself later and putting extra stress on yourself. That 5-minutes you choose to ask for help may just give you the one answer you need for everything to make sense. That 5-minutes you took to put yourself out there to make a connection with a new friend, a new teacher or adviser, may just make life at school better (even easier or fun), or land you the next job. You may even meet the love of your life? 

Question your thoughts:

Don’t believe every thought that comes in your head. They are just thoughts. Those fearful thoughts, insecure thoughts, sad thoughts, angry thoughts, lustful thoughts, stressful thoughts, are just good feedback. Don’t get attached to them. Observe them. What are they telling you? Don’t act on them. Be curious. It’s your intuition. Maybe they are trying to tell you to get more sleep, or stop goofing off, or maybe take life in and have more fun? Your thoughts will tell you if you’re living in the past, present, or future.

We have this incredible internal ‘observation tower’ in our mind and spirit. It’s called consciousness. Scan it. From experience, I can tell you that if you believe those past or future thoughts, they will just circle around up in the sky of your mind endlessly. Those kinds of thoughts are problematic. Test it. It’s true. People who are suffering and miserable are living in the past or in the future. Past thoughts cause anger and hurt. Future thoughts cause anxiety and fear. Both cause us to stay stuck. So take a deep breath, get into the present moment; land the ‘thought’ plane safely. And then, move on. Many people falsely believe that their conditioned thoughts are who they are. Not true. What you do with those thoughts is who you are. Have fun with that. 

You will be the same person you are now in 5 years except for two things: the books you read and the people you hang around with:

I’ve found this to be so true in my life. I’ve only grown proportionally as a person by reading interesting books (quality magazines, online sources, trainings and workshops materials) and choosing good friends; friends who make me ‘level up’. I’ve had some friends in the past who were not good for me. They kept me complaining about my life, my husband, my kid, school, etc. There was a negative energy we were exchanging and believing. But those positive friends that were doing well, loved others, had a good outlook, had good character, they impressed the hell out of me. And even though I wasn’t always their age, or not at their maturity level, I hung out and learned how to grow up by surrounding myself with them. My marriage got better. School got better. My enthusiasm for career and life purpose got better. And thankfully, I’m not the same person I was 5 years ago.

Family (though flawed) will always care about you:  

Call them. Text them. Go home. They are your biggest cheerleaders. And they know you like a book. You can bullshit others and even yourself, but you can’t with your family. Ask for advice. Take it. And give back to them too. They have been there for you. As we mature, ALL our relationships will be about reciprocity. Your emotional tank will always be full if you both give and receive. If we always ‘take’ we’ll be spiritually as dry as a desert.

You are so friendly, thoughtful, kind, funny, and loving. Because you’re not a kid anymore, you have a lot of value and influence in this family. However, find that sweet balance of taking care of you, being you, and offering yourself. You are your own individual. It’s important to always have good boundaries.  But don’t be an island either; God also created us for community. 

Job, career, calling, or vocation: Do what you love:

What will make you love to get up out of bed each morning? Do that!

You are more than your identity as___________(fill in the blank):

This was one of the hardest things to comprehend. I was a mother and my identity was in actively mothering. I loved that role. However, when Kevin moved away, who was I? I was still a mom but my role had changed. But I had falsely put my entire identity in being that label. This is just one example of a dozen. I’m not a label: mom, wife, aunt, or daughter, yoga teacher, etc. I’ll only always be Kim the spirit (not Kim who is young or old, pretty or ugly, skinny or fat, smart or stupid, interesting or boring, etc.). I’m just me, with no label. It’s liberating. It’s NOT for anyone else to define me. Only I get to decide who I am and how I want to express myself as a human on this planet. 

Because you will graduate, have many jobs, titles, live many places, maybe even have many girlfriends (hopefully you’ll choose well and only have one wife), have kids, maybe some animals, etc., the ego mind will want to identify and keep you frozen in time. But life is transient. Allow it to unfold and hold on loosely. You’ve yet to even discover who you are. I’m almost 53 and I’m still amazed what changes and then shows up in me.

Don’t let life just happen to you:

You’re on a front end of an already great adventure that God has invited you into. Life will show up and mirror back to you what you’re thinking about. If life sucks, your thoughts have been sucky for a while. What are you attracting into your life? If life is great, it means you’ve done the work to fight against cynicism and distrust. Good for you. All our collective (many) thoughts will co-create the life we’ve been thinking about—that’s Quantum Physics at work. There are many many many possibilities to each experience. You’re in charge and more in control then you think. Don’t be passive. Set an intention. Where your thoughts go, the energy will flow. And at any given moment, you can change it. Again, don’t take my word for it. Test it. Notice how life shows up in other people. What are their thoughts like? Mostly, play with this magical experience called life. There is more to it after four years of college.

We can only meet God and heal in the present moment:

Whatever happens, there will be times when it will feel unbearable. You’ll have dark nights of the soul. You’ll be confused. You’ll probably be in your head believing your stressful thoughts. You’ll have set backs. It may feel like your world is ending or should end. You’ll think, “What the heck, I thought I was doing good?” It happens to all of us. You’ll take it personally (you may even feel tempted to blame God….He gets blamed for everything that doesn’t work or make sense.) Hang in there. Don’t be too hard on yourself (or God). 

I can tell you what has healed me: Get still and silent. Breathe. That is all you can do. The breath will bring you out of your head (and stressful thoughts) and into the present moment. And it’s in those quiet moments when your spirit will meet God’s Spirit. It will feel like peace. Get into the present moment where, actually, all is well deep in your soul. You can feel it even when your world feels tipped over. And it is from that place within that you’ll find courage again to move forward one moment at a time, one day at a time. Any longer, faster, and you’ll miss the blessing God is offering (which is this incredible ‘voiceless knowing’ that you are loved by Him). Return to that Love. Often. 

Trust me:

You’ve got a remarkable life ahead of you. I’m excited that I get to be up in you balcony watching and cheering you on.

It won’t be easy. But it will be worth it to lean in and engage fully at each juncture.

If I died tomorrow (and I will….but hopefully not like next day tomorrow…LOL), I’d want you to know that I adore you. I’ve been a big T-Man fan. I’ve delighted to see your Mega-Watt smile each time you were in my presence; it often made my day. I’ve enjoyed your sense of humor; I love laughing with you and at you. I’ve watched you be kind, thoughtful, loving, playful, and understanding towards others at many ages. It’s who you are, Thomas. I’m just one person in your orbit. A lot of people are going to come and go. Some will have more gravitational pull and hang out like the moon above. There are a lot of others out there who will need you to show up in their life and bless them (like you blessed me). Go find them. 

I wish you TONS of happiness my sweet, nephew. God is for you! Always! Mostly, I hope you'll be present in your mind, body, and spirit as often as possible. For that is where I've found my greatest contentment, awe, and joy: this Present Moment. Actually, there is no other moment other than the present moment NOW. Trippy, but true. Enjoying and dealing with one moment at a time will only add up to a fascinating lifetime. You may have many trips around the sun, but only once chance to do it well. Take it all in and have a blast! 

Remember you are never (truly) alone. God is here for you. I'm here for you, and so are others in your family. 

I love you, T. We all love you! ! 

~ Aunt Kim 

Meditation In A Parked Car

I had the sweetest minute of bliss the other day. 
It wasn't chocolate or a few minutes of extra sleep. No, it happened when I pulled into a parking space at my least favorite grocery store in town. 

I had been running around for hours spending money on things I didn't want to spend money on. I was irritated. Instead of a grocery list in hand, I had a long list of disappointments in my head.

I turned off the car and just sat there. I didn't want to move. People were walking around in the parking lot doing their own thing. I didn't care. I gave no thought to anything. I sat with the radio and engine off. Time stopped. I stopped. The mental rushing around stopped. I noticed how my body felt: tired. I noticing my breath: it had been the first time that I paid any attention to it that day. 

In that moment, intuitively, I needed to just BE.
Sitting, existing, in silence, observing nothing and everything.  

That one minute was worth a month of therapy, a good nights sleep, or a pat on the back from a supportive friend. 

The daily act of meditation can be transformative spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You can actually retrain your brain to spiritually crave meditation. 

The benefit of daily practice is my 'conscious awareness muscle' is developing; I know when I'm 'off' sooner than later. Often, something unexplainable (maybe it's consciousness, maybe it's God?) gently nudges me to meditation. 

I don't get hung up on how long to meditate. Science has shown that meditating for 20-minutes 2x a day is optimal. I'm lazy. I only do 20-minutes once a day; I'd be an unhappy crazy person if I didn't. But even if I only mediated for 1-minute or 5-minutes (and I have) it's beneficial. Breath, stillness, awareness is all you need to meditate. It's the ultimate mobile device. 

After formal meditation is over, I try to do my best to live mindfully (using my 5 senses in the present moment). Some days Mindful Living is a walk-in-the park (literally, a walk in the park). Other days, poof, the day is over and I missed it because I was stuck in my head ruminating. 


But the other day, sitting in the grocery parking lot, feeling depleted and mildly depressed, after 1- minute, I knew everything was going to be alright. Nothing was wrong in THAT moment (except what I was believing in my head). I had everything I needed in that one moment of stillness. That 1-minute of BEING still, got me out of my head. The Here and Now enveloped me. Like I said, it was bliss. 

1-minute Parked Car Meditation: Try it, you may like it.