Facebook-Love it or Hate it

Been away, haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been? Have you changed your style? And do you think that we’ve grown up differently? Don’t seem the same since you’ve lost your feel for me.  So let’s leave it alone ‘cause we can’t see eye to eye. There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad buy, there’s only you and me and we just disagree. ~ Dave Mason

Somebody said to me last week in a passing conversation about Facebook, “You live on Facebook!” Wow, perception is everything! I'll confess, I go on Facebook everyday. I’ve been known to leave 10 comments and “Like” 15 different things in five minutes as I scroll down through my news feed. I’ll bop over to Facebook a minute here, a minute there. I’ll be on it longer if I’m privately composing a long message to a friend to catch up. However, according to the almighty twitter thingy in the upper right hand corner, it would seem I live on Facebook. Have other people accused you of living on Facebook? That bugs me! Today I ate lunch by myself and pulled out my iPhone and opened up my Facebook app. It beats smiling awkward at strangers or staring into space by myself at the table.

When it comes to Facebook, I always tell new Facebooker, it's a great place to connect with my old friends, co-works, old and new neighbors, family, and new friends; you get out of it what you put into it. And yet, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I’ll tell ya what I love and hate about it.

I HATE that new damn twitter thingy. Did you hear me Mark Zuckerberg and all you young whippersnappers at Facebook’s headquarters who thought it was a cool idea. It is like having tick in my right eye. I don’t like that my privacy is gone forever. And if I do comment on someone’s page, it’s “out there” for everyone to interpret whatever he or she wants. Since the FB twitter has come online a few months ago, I noticed that I’ve started to censor myself. I HATE that too. I’m pretty open, bold, opinionate, but I’m also bawdy, bossy and bitchy. I’m a Bible believing Christian (not to be confused with Bible thumping I hope). I’m more in the Anne Lamott category because I’ve been know to swear and I’m a tree-hugging liberal Democrat (I have my reasons why). I’m sure there are people who think that I shouldn’t be in leadership, or have my mouth washed out with soap, or my salvation is in question. You’re probably right, but I’ll take my chances on God’s grace by continuing to be my imperfect self.  I actually had someone on FB question how I could be a Christian and be a Democrat because Republicans are Pro-Life. News flash, I’m Pro-Life too (I just think that ship has sailed and there are other human-right issues.)

Prior to the public voyeurism of my thoughts on the FB twitter feed, my comments were usually private to only those FB friends who ‘knew me’ and ‘get me’. It was okay to put in your two cents in with the safety of being understood because you’re in relationship (to know me is to love me). Nothing irritates me more then seeing people I don’t even know show up in my Facebook News Feed. I don’t care that you ‘Liked’ your dog groomer’s new clippers; I don’t even know her. But I’m glad for your dog. I’m sure you don’t give a rip that I ‘Liked’ my old neighbor in FL when she got a radical new haircut either. Stuff like that makes me miss the days my friend’s Farm Animal or Mafia Wars games used to inundate my news feed.

But this new FB twitter makes me wonder what will all my conservative Republican friends think if they see that I agree with my wonderful, intelligent, friend Mikey about the Occupy Wall Street protest? Probably, here she goes again! What would they think if I re-post something about something debatable in this country? I’ve been sharing my thoughts on social issues for 4 years; its now just more visible. I've commented on everything from the Mosque a few blocks from the World Trade scar, the standoff with Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin and the unions, the debt ceiling, to Health Care Reform, Immigration, to the killing of an innocent woman in Iran because she showed up at a public protest. And if I post a Jon Steward clip, my FB wall lights up. I'm such a stinker. :-p

What got me thinking about what I love and hate about FB is I so wanted to ‘Like’ a photo Mikey posted with a twenty-something young man holding up a sign at the OWS that said, “I LOVE HUMANITY. LET’S FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT TOGETHER.” I ‘Liked’ that in my mind. That pictures spoke to me for a few days because that what I really feel deep down. But I paused because heavens to Betsy it would come up on somebody’s stupid twitter feed. I appreciated when Tony Campolo called out a conservative Christian audience in 2003 speech when he said, “First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or disease related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.” Yeah, I’m in Tony’s camp. 

What will people think if I agree or comment when my friend Lena says f#%k in her status update because she’s pissed off that her license paperwork got screwed up. Sorry friends, I say that word more then you realize. Frickin, F#^k, it’s all the same to me. Hey, I’ve heard many of you say it to.  The way I look at it, its just punctuation. If I offend you, I sincerely apologize. It is not my intention. I’ve often wondered when Jesus called the Pharisees 2000 years ago ‘a Brood of Vipers’ if he was sorta calling them ‘assholes’. There, I said it!!!

There are a lot of hotly debated topics that come on Facebook. I love it and hate it. Based on our upbringing, our social standing, personality, experiences and beliefs, what we read or watch on TV, we each form our own opinions. What concerns me is that sometimes it doesn’t seem like it’s okay to disagree. We take things personally when people disagree with us. We align with a position—and hunker down. I get it, I do that too sometimes. I sometimes do it with a tone like when I state until my dying breath, I will never ever watch Fox News because Christians have sanctified it as the corner on all political and American truth. I laugh when die-hard Fox watchers say CNN is bias. Ha! Really? I watched Fox  ‘spread’ falsehoods with distorted questioning undertones that steered the public conversation that President Obama wasn’t born in this country, is a socialist, Muslim, and is trying to destroy the country, is against Israel, the list goes on. But just because you watch Fox News, Glen Beck, or like Ann Coulter (who I wouldn’t even share a cab ride with because I don’t think she has the capacity to let other people disagree with her), I’ll still read what you posted from her just to see if she’s mellowed out over the years. She occasionally has a good point. I just don’t think she has the capacity to see that there are two sides of a coin. By the way, I wouldn’t share a cab ride with Democrat James Carvel either because he and Ann are way too dogmatic for me. Lighten up people! Let others have an opinion.

In the next year there will be lots of FB political postings, comments, etc. I enjoy politics like some people like watching the NASDAQ or sports statistics. I have followed politics since I was in 3^rd grade when we did a mock election between Nixon and McGovern at Longfellow Elementary. I put up posters, paper buttons, and campaigned for tricky Dick. See, I was a Republican once.  I just want to put it out there now that I will put my two cents in on Facebook. Why? I can’t help myself because there are two sides of a coin. And all the people have a voice. And if they don’t you can be sure that I’ll say something about it. I hate that I’m sorely out numbered by my Republican friends on Facebook. I appreciate when my Democrat friends come out and bravely wade into a conversation on my wall to help me say things I feel but can’t articulate. I’ll comment because I just want you to know that there are people, even Christians (like me) who feel differently. That doesn’t mean I’m a Socialist or un-American. It doesn’t mean that you don’t matter to me. You do! It just means we don’t see eye to eye on an issue. I have no problem stating my point and listening to you talk about the Tea Party or tea bags. All that matters is that at the end of the day we can be civil and not call anyone names.

What I do love about Facebook? I love that I could have a 5-minute IM chat conversation with my former boss and dear friend Steve in CA. I love that I can see when my friend Jessie, whose let her creative side come forth, posts her artwork on display in the local gallery in her town in TX. I love how I can read real life travel logs and food reviews from Celeste. I love how John and Lori are tied to be the best smart-asses with their wicked, ironic, sarcastic humor on my news feed. I love how I can say to Ann, ‘It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life, or that I love her more than my luggage’ and she knows exactly what I mean. I love that your pets are almost as human as you and make me smile (especially Stinky the pitbull and Ditch the wondermut).

When life is bigger than me and I need prayer for something serious, I love that my FB friends will let me know they are praying. I love how my dear friend Craig makes me laugh at least once a day…some days we all need a Craig comment. I love how I can be reminded of young love from Anna, Kensie, Emma, or Nelson. I love that Tamara encourages me to ‘Bring it’ as a new businesswoman. I love how Howie asks thought provoking questions. I love when I don’t have time to watch the Hawks or the Bears, I can usually find out how they’re doing in Real-Time from Mark. I love getting health or yoga tips from my friend Sandy’s newsletter. I love that I get the latest Doppler weather reports from my guy-Tom Skilling.  I love to see a happy married couple like Doug and Kelly share their comments about kids, dates, and wine. I love listening to a posted oldie but goody song from Tom. I love how can cheer from the FB balcony and be in awe for over a year following Monica’s fight with breast cancer or Caleb's battle with leukemia.  

And I have five friends who are amazing photographers: Daniel, Jenni, Tonya, Kristi, and Patti; I love looking at and commenting on their photography. I love when the new babies are born, and dad is gushing. I love how I can learn about a new band from Noah or April. I love that I can tell a girlfriend that her profile pic looks gorgeous or ask what was she thinking. I love getting spontaneous comments on my wall. I love how I can get a recipe, directions, or a computer problem figured out within an hour. I love how we say Happy Birthday to each other. I love to see photos of my grandsons and your grandsons and grandaughters. I love to be reminded that the world is complicated and we all better learn to do a better job of caring for our brother and our neighbor. By the way, I love that I can tell my neighbors that they are the best and appreciated without putting my coat on (they’d think it was weird if I showed up on their front door and said that). I love that I can live vicariously through your posted vacation photos.  

Some people collect purses, but I collect quotes (and hats). I love that everyday somebody posts something meaningful and inspirational that I 'Like'. I love viral YouTube Videos. I’d never have the time to go looking for that stuff…it comes to me. I actually cried hot tears streaming down my face LMAO listening to a German shepherd and his owner have a conversation. I love that I’m not the only one who bitches or is thankful about the weather depending on the day. I love that I can have a cyber drink with my friend Pam…I can almost hear the clink of our glasses. I love that I can disagree about everything except the cubs with Chris and he hasn’t defriended me yet. 

In a world where there is so much divisiveness, distortion, and death. I love that I can experience a little nonsense on Facebook. I know that the only one who can sort this world mess out is God. And unless He returns again (and I hope He hasn’t changed His mind), we are left to experience wonder, accept each other, stay connected, juggle schedules, capture moments, right wrongs, forgive and seek peace, pray for and love the unlovable (including the media, politicians, and presidents-past, present, and future).

So if it seems if I live on Facebook you’d have it all wrong. I just get a lot of life out of Facebook.    

                  

Peace On Earth

 I just saw the Dalai Lama recently. He’s so adorable. He laughs at himself and often rambles like an old man who has stories to tell you. His heart for interfaith peace touches a cord within me (not interfaith in the sense of merging all religions into one, but mutual respect and understanding among different religious traditions). The world seems to be at war with itself. Religions are sparring and making matters worse. When I think of a world figure who is out there globally promoting peace and non-violence, only the Dalai Lama comes to mind. He is our Gandhi, our Martin Luther King, and our Nelson Mandela of the 21^st century. There are no Christians that come to mind (you think there would be). There are no Hindu’s, Jews, or Muslims who’s peaceful voices rises above the hateful din of today. 

For such a time as this, this 76 year-old Buddhist monk, whose humbly draped in burgundy and orange robes, has a message worth listening to. He’s not here to force his Buddhist message. In fact, he said, “Stay with your faith tradition, it’s too confusing when you switch.” He’s not threatened by other people’s faith. Because he has enough life experience, and knows that major religions have love at their core; he says we can only have peace if we allow our sense of compassion to rise above our differences. With urgency in his voice, head forward and finger pointed he states, “Non-violence means using dialogue, using our language, the human language. Dialogue means compromise; respecting each other’s rights’ in the spirit of reconciliation there is a real solution to conflict and disagreement. This is the practical way, the only way. Wars arise from a failure to understand one another’s humanness. Instead of summit meetings, why not have families meet for a picnic and get to know each other while the children play together.” Isn’t that brilliant? Leave it to a monk to come up with a solution that has nothing to do with politics.  That is why I dig the Dalai Lama.

He shared how to go about having dialogue with those whom we disagree: First, find out what you have in common. Second, understand each other’s differences. Third, go to each other’s places of worship or homes and experience it together.

There are so many reasons to promote peace: famine, political wars, genocide, human trafficking and child prostitution, black market nuclear weapons, world economic instability—to name a few. Sheesh, how do we sleep at night? Is peace of any kind possible on a large scale? I worry because of the attachment to family, tribal, and national biases get passed on from generation to generation and become difficult to undo. When you pile on tit-for-tat behavior, the cycle never ends. 

Even Jesus warned his people of big picture changes that needed to take place and the inevitable consequences that would unfold if they did not. Jesus promoted peace. He said in Matt 26:52, “Put your sword back into its place; for those who live by the sword, die by the sword.” So what do we do about our enemies (or ‘frenemies’)? Again he said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” Easier said then done, right? Ah, but it’s a worthy pursuit to figure out how to go about being at peace with one another. However, peace is not easy. In order for there to be external peace there has to be some internal work in our hearts. Peace will cost you something.

Humility isn’t my strong suit. It has taken a herculean effort over the years by God’s Spirit to finally get my attention so I can let go of my pit-bull grip on ‘being right’. I like ‘being right’ like I like chocolate. Don’t get me wrong, even though I want peace, sometimes I just want to smack hateful people upside the head for being mean-spirited. I doubt the Dalai Lama (or Jesus) would do any smacking? True, but they’ve been meditating in gardens longer than I have. 

Peace matters to me because I didn’t grow up in a peaceful home. You knew when you were on someone’s ‘shit-list’, and you better do whatever necessary to get off it or else. I was the oldest and the most outspoken. Guess who was the lightening rod in the family? Even though those years where agonizing relationally living in our home, I have fond memories of my childhood. I think part of me was able to compartmentalize. I’d found joy and peace in simple things. Which is kind of hard to believe when I look back on those years. The music of WLS and The Loop radio saved me, along with dance, swimming or lying out by our pool, taking naps, and going over to friend’s houses. Those were sanctuary moments where I was able to live in peaceful moment without a care in the world.

Nowadays, I listen to Pandora instead of the Loop. And I’m more aware then ever the importance of working on my own internal and external peace. I’ve noticed a few things this summer while riding my bike, taking walks, or doing yoga on the patio: nature is so peaceful and orderly. The trees are not freaking out that the birds land on them. The morning doves are not yelling at the blue jays because they crossed their path. The bees are not taking something that doesn’t belong to them as they hover from flower to flower. The ants are minding their own business instead of holding grudges with the worms. No wonder we all feel a sense of calm when we spend any amount of time in nature.

Peace within, peace without—I want it for myself, and the rest of the world. Because, seriously, what's the alternative? 

John F. Kennedy in a commencement address to the American University five months before he was assassinated said this about peace, in relation to the Russian threat. “Let us examine our attitude toward peace itself. Too many of us think it’s impossible. Too many of us think it unreal. But that is a dangerous, defeatist belief. It leads to the conclusion that war is inevitable—that mankind is doomed—that we are gripped by forces we cannot control. We need to not accept that view. Our problems are manmade—therefore, they can be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings. Man’s reason and spirit have often solved the seemingly unsolvable—and we believe they can do it again. I am not referring to the absolute, infinite concept of peace and good will which some fantasies and fanatics dream. I do not deny the value of hopes and dreams but we merely invite discouragement and incredulity by making that our only and immediate goal. Let us focus instead on a more practical, more attainable peace.”

Jesus said, “My peace I give you, my peace I leave you.” Jesus was called ‘The Prince of Peace’. Peace defines His mission, His message, His kingdom. If we are all called to be His ambassadors than shouldn’t we too be ambassadors of peace? The Apostle Peter told the church 2,000 years ago: “Seek peace, and pursue it.” So thank God for the Dalai Lama, who reminds us of a role that all of us (including Christians) should be actively engaged in—promoting peace in a world of hatred, division, and violence. A world that needs us to be engaged in pursuing peace not just waiting for it to happen once we get to heaven.