THOSE PEOPLE

I’ve noticed something coming out of a lot of people’s mouth lately: “What’s up with THOSE people? You know, THOSE________(fill in the blank) people? Next comes the pejorative statement about them: "THOSE people are______________(fill in the blank)."  Have you heard yourself saying it? I’m guilty. Have you heard other people saying it? Notice while you’re at work, on the train, sitting at a restaurant, or on social media. I watch a lot of news. During the election year I’ve watched every Republican and Democrat debate and Town Hall. I say THOSE people at least once a day. 

We moved down to Florida. It’s dreamy in a many ways: weather, ocean, vast blue skies with puffy clouds, exotic birds and trees, glorious sunrises and sunsets, seaside restaurants, etc. Did I mention the beaches? But there is one thing that has been disheartening (more than snakes or hurricanes). It was something I didn’t experience growing up as a Northerner: trucks driving around with Confederate flags and distasteful bumper stickers, houses with Confederate flags in the windows as curtains. This has flipped on my ‘judgy’ switch. Something within my spirit is freaked out by it. It's like I live in another country. When they pass me by I think, “What the hell is wrong with THOSE people. Don’t they know it’s 2016? That flag is offensive. I could never be friends with anyone who believed that flag was just about Southern Pride but has forgotten the horrific, pain, and treasonous heritage that flag represents. Any white man or woman flying a Confederate flag must be ignorant, uneducated with a low emotional intelligence. We have nothing in common.” 

In my mind, I feel like that flag is an F-you to the men who died in the Civil War, to other people’s feelings, and to the history of human enslavement our country participated in. It’s a flag symbolizing rebellion, subjection, and bloodshed. The fact they still want to boldly fly or hang it tells me they don’t care what others think or feel. THOSE kind of people are not people I want to live near or be around. It’s a hostile negative energy that I don’t want anything to do with in 2016. We’ve come a long way in our troubled history. However, we still have a long way to go to heal long standing racial divides. Anyone with a Confederate flag hinders racial reconciliation. Rich and I are for equality and healing our racial divide. 

So there you have it, my Northern Bias. It’s not pretty. I’m not proud of it. And I have a lot of work to do on changing my intolerance to THOSE Confederate Flag flying people.

Human beings are innately tribal and think in terms of ‘in groups’ and ‘out groups.’ We’re born a certain race, a certain gender, a certain nationality, a certain religion, and a certain generation. Over time we choose to belong to other identity groups as well. So from a young age we start to think in terms of ‘Us –vs- Them.’ Some people never outgrow it, and never recognize their inherent bias. These conditioned biases have caused many divides and heartaches, wars, and economic profiteering, etc.  

There are many types of bias that we all suffer from, and most of them are unconscious. We have age bias, race bias, height & weight bias, sports team bias, hair & clothing bias, etc. However, the strongest bias we have is what is called ‘affinity bias’: which means we tend to like people who are like us, and dislike people who are unlike us. So ultimately, bias is just a form of egotism or self-centeredness. The saddest thing about all bias, is that it alters the way we see things. We do not see things objectively anymore. Instead we put a spin on things and distort reality.

 I came across a poem recently that summarizes this viewpoint beautifully:

“It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.” ~Terry Pratchett

To remedy this we must acquire self-awareness (recognize our bias) and the realization that we are part of ONE HUMAN RACE. We are all children of God, which makes us brothers and sisters, and members of the SAME TRIBE.

So I commit myself anew of trying to break out of the Us –vs- Them thinking, and judging ‘THOSE’ people. It’s one of the reasons my faith in Christ is so meaningful. Jesus not only taught us to question the Us vs Them thinking, he actually showed us how to over come it. He did this by associating freely and sharing meals with sinners and saints, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, Gentiles and Jews, men and women, the sick and healthy, etc. He shocked the religious leaders of his day because of his indiscriminate friendships with people who were considered to be in the ‘out group.’

 It’s something we will probably never get over.

All I know is I want to be more like Jesus in how I relate to others, and to catch myself when I think ‘THOSE People’. In the grand scheme of things, ‘THOSE people’ are God’s people, hence they are my people.