Monday, October 17, 2016

#NeverTrump


I have always been open about my views--everything from politics and religion, to food and social justice. I’m sure sometimes others don’t appreciate it, but I try to respect other people’s right to disagree, and I try not to tell other people what to think or believe. And under normal circumstances I would refrain from completely outright denouncing a Presidential candidate. For example, I did not vote for Romney or McCain, nor did I agree with all their views, but I never questioned their character or qualifications. 

This year, I’m afraid I must make an exception, and here is why: Rich and I have 5 grandchildren, and one more on the way. Some day they are going to look back and wonder if we took a stand against certain “bigger issues” of our day. They will be talking about this election in political science for generations. Just like our parents and grandparents were forced to have an opinion about Hitler, Joseph McCarthy, segregation, George Wallace, Vietnam and Richard Nixon. 
Gov. George Wallace of Alabama  

Standing up to Joseph McCarthy during hearings 1954

Richard Nixon
I want our grandchildren to know that we stood on the right side of history. Or to steal a phrase, that we believe, 'Love Trumps Hate.'

I know if you’re a Republican, your first objection is “What about Hillary Clinton”? So let’s get that out of the way first.

HILLARY IS NOT A CRIMINAL - To tell the truth, Hillary wasn’t my first choice as President either. I supported Bernie Sanders during the primaries. We fell for a lot of the current rumor and hearsay about her being the Wicked Witch of the West just like most people, but then we started to investigate the rumors a little more closely, and discovered there has been a multi-million dollar cottage industry that has done nothing but vilify the Clintons on a weekly basis for the past 30 years. That statement is not hyperbole. There are literally a handful of individuals who have made a living for the past three decades doing nothing but trying to dig up dirt on the Clintons--exactly the same way the paparazzi from the National Enquirer have hounded Michael Jackson, Brad & Angelina, or Oprah. A few of them have even ended up running Trump’s campaign (but more on that later).

Years ago I was a die-hard Republican myself. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I hated Hillary Clinton, and said the meanest things about her—though most of my accusations were based on hearsay. Upon closer investigation, it turns out that 90% of the allegations against Hillary are unfounded, politically biased, without evidence, or less significant than you might think. And this is how hard-hearted I was: I WANTED her to be guilty. I have since tried to live my life guided by the philosophy that a person is “innocent until proven guilty”. There is no other way to guard against demonizing those that disagree with us, or to avoid unfairly destroying someone’s reputation unfairly. For instance, several, multi-million dollar, Republican-led investigative committees have looked into Whitewater, Travelgate, Benghazi, and the email controversy. None of them found Hillary guilty of a criminal charge. It is fair to say that Hillary is a typical Washington politician, who knows how to play within the Washington system, who changes her opinions to survive elections, has taken money from corporate interest groups, and has used her connections to advance her own agenda, etc. She alone didn’t create this political culture; it’s been in place for decades. But she is not a criminal, and she has actually tried to genuinely serve the public and fight for the marginalized (children, people of color, women, the poor, etc.) for her entire adult life. I can’t discount what she’s done for those under-resourced. She has also radically changed the Democratic platform because of the influence of Bernie Sanders and his supporters (agreeing to support campaign reform, to hold Wall Street accountable, provide affordable college for young people, and to reverse her position on foreign trade--TTP).  It’s a done deal; it was all voted on at the last Democrat National Convention. Polices are changing (thank you Millennials and Bernie Sanders). If you consult reliable, objective news agencies to get the facts (i.e., from educated and respected journalists who know how to vet sources, objectively weigh the evidence, and separate fact from fiction), instead of listening to opinion-based editorials from openly biased pundits (Fox News, Hannity, O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Beck, Brietbart & InforWars), Hillary—though flawed—is not the awful person she has been painted to be.

TRUMP’S BIGOTRY IS NOT AN ASSUMPTION - But enough about Hillary, this blog is about why I am openly speaking out against Donald Trump, and why his case is different than all the other politicians who are accused of corruption. To begin with, most of the allegations against Trump stem from the words that actually come out of his very own mouth when a camera is rolling. He’s a political Shock-Jock. There is no uncertainty about his guilt respecting many atrocities of misbehavior.  The only challenge here is where to begin.

HE BRAZENLY INSULTS PEOPLE - I guess a logical place is the beginning of his campaign over a year ago. One of the first things he said he would do if elected, was to build a wall, because Mexico was not sending “good people” to our country “they’re sending rapists and murders, etc.” Wow! I have numerous Hispanic friends, and all of them are extremely “good” people. They love their families, they are devoted Catholics, they work hard, and they are loving, kind and honest. But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he misspoke, or exaggerated. Maybe it was a one-time slip and he really wasn’t being racist--it was just an unguarded moment. We all have those. But for the last 52 weeks, he has continued to stereotype, slander, ridicule and insult one identity group after another (this is the textbook definition of a bigot). He says John McCain is not a war hero because he was a POW, he says he will ban ALL Muslims from entering this country, he questions a judges objectivity because he is of Hispanic descent, he openly parodies a disabled man’s challenges, he calls women ugly, pigs, dogs, etc., he says journalists are the scum of the earth, and (perhaps worst of all) he questions the integrity of a Gold Star family who lost their son in combat. He has even viciously insulted all 17 of the other Republican nominees, the last 4 GOP candidates (Romney, McCain, Bush 41 & Bush 43); the GOP Speaker of the House (Paul Ryan) & the Republican National Committee--basically everyone who doesn’t agree with him. He is like a child having a temper tantrum in an adult body.

HE MAKES UP THINGS – Many politicians stretch the truth, shade the truth, and even manipulate the truth. But very few just make things up out of thin air. Trump is the exception. He lives in a fantasy world where he tells outright lies every 3.5 minutes (yes, they have actually calculated it). According to political fact-checkers Hillary is one of the most honest, and Trump is the least honest of all the 20 or so candidates this year. He also has conjured up this Apocalyptic view of our country, where he casts a vision of a fearful dystopian world that is about to dawn, unless he rescues America from the inept hands of all the military and government officials, who are clueless.  He states unequivocally “I am the only one who can fix this”.  Why--because he knows how to make “great deals”. And not only does he make up facts, and conjure up an alternate reality, Trump also engages in something psychologists call “gaslighting” with those he demeans and abuses. This involves treating victims like they are the ones who are confused about the facts. Have you ever known a person who makes mistakes or sinned against another? But instead of taking responsibility they deflect their actions, they whine and complain how they’ve been wronged. How dare you call them out for their bad behavior? And then they go to great lengths to twist the obvious truth and blame it on you or others? You feel like they are trying to make you the crazy person for questioning them or their motives? That’s just one form of gaslighting. Donald Trump has made a mockery of the truth for an entire political cycle in each TV interview, rally, and debate. 

Fortunately, we still have educated and experienced journalists who have spent their life checking data and facts—though Trump is trying hard to defame their profession.  He repeatedly preaches that the experts don’t know what they’re talking about from the New York Times, the Washington Post, the major News Networks, historians, scientists, the intelligence community, the generals, etc. But the majority of American voters are not buying his alternate reality. 

HE IS UNIQUIELY UNQUALIFIED – Never before, in the history of the United States has anyone been a serious contender for holding the Presidency with absolutely none of the typical qualifications. An understanding of the law helps—so most of our Presidents have had law degrees, most of them have held political office, and a few that haven’t, have had extensive military experience. Donald Trump has no such experience, and he has demonstrated that he knows practically next to nothing about policy (foreign or domestic). He knows nothing about military operations (he is certainly unfamiliar with the Geneva Convention). Not only does he lack experience or knowledge, he also lacks the most basic public speaking skills (unless you think repeating “tremendous”, “huge” & “disaster” is a meaningful form of discourse). Usually Presidents are expected to have above average intelligence (IQ)---in this arena, Trump is an embarrassment. However, what is even worse is that he has nearly zero Emotional Intelligence (which relates to self-awareness, humility, the ability to control emotions, and the gift of making others feel understood and validated).  So even if Trump had exemplary character (which doesn’t), he is preeminently unfit to run this country. I certainly wouldn’t allow someone without medical training, knowledge, or experience to perform brain surgery on someone I love. Entrusting the nuclear codes, and the national economy to Trump would be absurd----especially since he will not listen to anyone’s advice (he particularly disdains expert advice). He's right and everyone else is wrong. Everyone! With the need for delicate diplomacy with the likes of Vladimir Putin, Kim  Jong-un, ISIS, Iran—the expectation that Trump will be capable of negotiating in these high-stakes situations, when he cannot go 60 seconds during a debate without getting triggered, is ridiculous. But wait, some will say, “he is a successful business man.” Oh really? Not only has he driven his business into bankruptcy four times and used the system to get bailed out; we now know that in one year alone he lost $916 million and has not paid a dime in taxes for almost 20 years. That is not the sign of a smart businessman; it is the sign of a conman. Many people have who've done work for him were ripped off and were then threatened with lawsuits if they dared to contest it.  His only idea for “Making American Great Again” is to build a wall, kick out Muslims, repeal Obamacare, and give tax breaks to the rich.  He appears incapable of articulating his policies with as much as two intelligible sentences in a row. In all the primary debates, presidential debates, interviews, and rallies it is obvious that strategy and logistics are not his strong suit. 


HE IS SEXIST, LEWD & ABUSIVE – It has been hard to watch so many people support this man in spite of the obvious truth of all that I have recounted thus far (the insults, the lies, the ignorance and ineptitude). Every single Republican nominee was trying to point out these red flags for the past year (Jeb Bush, Christy, Kasich, Carson, Cruz, Rubio, etc.). It was particularly hard watching Evangelicals throw their support behind him, when they normally are the ones demanding strong moral character in their leaders. But the straw that broke the proverbial “camel’s back” was the release of a videotape that only served to confirm what most reasonable people suspected—Trump is a misogynist, who treats women like objects. The tape has Trump brazenly admitting to Billy Bush that he gropes, harasses and violates women in the most demeaning ways, because he believes his wealth and celebrity status gives him the right to do anything he wants. The legal term for this is “sexually predatory behavior” and it is outlawed in the workplace.  Anyone who thinks this is how the average man talks in a locker room, needs to associate with a different breed of men. The videotape initiated an avalanche of allegations from several women who said he did to them exactly what Trump confessed in the video, he does to women. This was enough to motivate over 40 Senators, Congressmen, and GOP stalwarts to publicly withdraw their support. A man who preys on women in this fashion is unfit to manage a local McDonalds much less the White House. This is goes beyond politics to a simple question of decency and morality.

I was adamantly against Bill Clinton remaining in office after the Monica Lewinsky affair had been exposed. Certainly forgiveness is available to someone who can humbly admit their moral failure, seek help, and change their behavior. We heard Bill Clinton speak at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington in August of 2000 (Bill Hybles was Clinton’s White House Spiritual Advisor for eight years.) Bill Clinton came to confess his sins and seek forgiveness from thousands of Evangelicals. Of course, not everyone believed it. It takes a long time to restore moral integrity after a repeated pattern of behavior of sexual misconduct, but Clinton owned his problems and acknowledge his need for God’s help.

Trump on the other hand has minimized what he said on videotape as mere “locker room talk”, and has insulted the 10 women who have claimed they were his victims. His pride has even gone as far as stating in an interview that he doesn’t think he has any need for God’s forgiveness because he doesn’t make mistakes. The right thing for Trump to do is quit the campaign, seek help, and restore his character, rather than continue to deny the allegations (which he has already confessed to on tape). If you have been sexually assaulted or sexually harassed only then will you understand why it took that tape and other women coming forward, one at a time, to speak up.

TRUMP IS THE PLATFORM FOR A RADICAL FRINGE – Oh, just one more thing. If all that has been said so far were not enough reason to stand up against this dangerous man; his core supporters (including the man who runs his campaign, Steve Bannon) are part of a movement called the Alt-Right. This movement embraces everyone from Neo-Nazis, the modern KKK, and the likes of Alex Jones. These groups propagate hate, violence, lies, racial superiority and conspiracy theories.  I don’t presume that Trump shares all of these views, but he clearly believes some of them; and worse, he never denounces the more radical and bigoted views of these extremists. To them, he is their Messiah. And Trump seems to play along by declaring he’s the only one who can fix the problems in America. 
Nate Silver: FiveThirtyEight.com 


To date, Donald Trump is behind in the polls. He’s probably not going to win the general election unless something more shocking is revealed by WiKi Leaks. Even though I’ve not held my tongue, I have held my breath during the Primary Elections. Week after week, I’ve watched this braggart grandstander play the media and the GOP like a fiddle--then turn on them when they called out his egotistical, disparaging comments. He’s unteachable, rebellious, and uncooperative. He tweets regularly now that “the election process is rigged” and the GOP are traitors. 

Still to this day, I can’t believe he’s the Republican nominee for President of the United States. He’s done irreparable damage to the civility of the election process. Even noted modern historians like Doris Kearns Goodwin, Michael Beschloss, Ken Burns, and Pulitzer Prize winning author (and registered independent), David McCullough, all agree there has never been a more unsuited candidate for president. American historian, Joseph Ellis encouraged Millennials to vote this election with an imperative: “the future and fate of the Republic is at stake this November.” At Stanford, Burns said, “We see nurtured in his campaign an incipient proto-fascism anti-immigrant Know Nothing-ism, and disrespect for the judiciary. The prospect of women losing authority over their own bodies, African Americans asked to go to the back of the line, voter suppression gleefully promoted, jingoistic saber-rattling, a total lack of historical awareness, a political paranoia that, predictably, points fingers, always making the other wrong.” Yes! That’s what I’ve been feeling but couldn’t say it succinctly.  

When Former Republican Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says, “Enough!” well, there isn’t much else to say.

I’m praying Trump loses (if God cares about these kind of things). Stay tuned for the Donald Trump Network (DTN). Trump’s gonna pitch his tent and move his circus to cable—turning disgruntled Trump voters into viewers (probably with the help of fellow sexual harasser and disgraced former Fox News Chairman, Roger Ailes). And of course, Trump will make a fortune doing it. They will propagate the myth that the election was stolen from them for the next 4-8 years, and that they are the only media outlet you can trust. Who knows what else they will spew? I bet you $916,000,000 Trump takes back his weak press statement that President Obama is an American. While that will all be nauseating, at least come mid-November I won’t see Trump on the news nightly.

Once again, for the sake of our children and grandchildren, please know that your Oma and Opa were not ashamed to speak out against this man’s candidacy. To state clearly and unequivocally, we are opposed to his treatment of women, Hispanics, Muslims, African-Americans, veterans and the disabled. We also stand for intelligent critical thinking and respectful discourse, an honest expression of the truth based on facts, overcoming hate with love, and an America that insures liberty and justice for all—not just the few. 

This would have made more sense...if it were only true. 




Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Paradise Lost & Found


 
Leaving Illinois Sept 28th 2015
A year ago, Fred, Rich, Kevin, Tiffany, and myself packed up and moved down to Florida. I can’t believe a year has gone by already. 
We are not in Kansas anymore.
While making casual conversation with people in stores or restaurants, I say, “Oh we just moved here from Chicago recently.” As if it was a few weeks or months ago. My brain hasn’t comprehended all the changes that have happened in the last year. It doesn’t feel real. 
  
Naples Florida

St. Augustine Castillo de San Marcos
The moving to Florida part has exceeded our expectations. It’s paradise. We are happy we moved to Vero Beach where we feel like we’re on vacation all the time: music and art festivals, palm trees, exotic birds, miles of quiet beaches, and endless summer. We enjoy getting in the car and exploring new towns of Florida. Some of our favorites: St. Augustine, Palm Beach, Jupiter, Stuart, Naples, and Sanibel Island. It seems there are endless opportunities and beautiful places to experience. 
  

We found a big house that suited our needs.  Kevin and his fiancé Tiffany had the upstairs and we had the downstairs. Going into this experience we all thought optimistically it would work out well. That lasted for about a day.

The first eight months living together in Florida was truly the hardest year of my life. And let me tell you, in 30 years together, we’ve had some hard years. But nothing like this: Tiffany confessed that she was an opiate drug addict for over a decade. It blindsided and terrified us. Given her harrowing background, she had mental and physical needs that we were not equipped to handle (like the first time she detoxed in our house and additional relapses). Tiffany was going to need drug treatment if she was going to live. Kevin was going to need a 12-step program for co-dependency; he had been handling Tiffany all on his own for over a year. This was bigger than him—bigger than all of us. 

We showed support and love from the moment Tiffany told us. The difficult part now was we were put in a position to be parents or counselors to our adult children 24/7 during this crisis stage. They needed boundaries and accountability if they were going to turn their lives around. We had to establish trust if they were going to continue to live in our house under these unique circumstances. This wasn’t a part of our plan. Trying to be the ‘velvet hammer’ so we could have stability didn’t go over well with them both. They wanted and needed our help but resisted it to their detriment. 

I could see their desire as a couple and as individuals to want to heal and overcome. At times they tried. However, their attempts were not sustainable without serious outside help. They had a daunting mountain range of self-exploration to climb to get to the other side of sobriety and normalcy. The drug addiction recovery odds are not high. Rehab is no guarantee she could remain clean. Would she survive? Would he cope if she didn't or moved on without him? We were attached and invested, hopeful, but realistic too. I had insomnia and a stomach ache for months from worry. 

The energy in our home was SO dense and depressing (even in spite of trying to be optimistic but firm). Fred also died suddenly. Our hearts were broken and overwhelmed. We put on 40-lbs each from dealing with this life and death situation all by ourselves, without our support system back home. We were sad, lonely, and fearful. I missed my girlfriends desperately. All we did was eat and process how to cope. 

It took getting into our own 12-step group for co-dependency before we were able to finally come up for air. That meant we also had to step way back and allow life to unfold without our intervention.

I’ll spare all the in-between disappointing conversations and heightened emotions over those many months. We were leveled and had little energy for much of anything. Addiction and co-dependency has a life of it’s own; we were not ourselves.  

Tiffany eventually went off to rehab in California. Two months later she showed up on the front door with a truck to pack all her stuff up, break up with Kevin, and move back to California. We have not spoken to her since that day. 

Our attention turned from helping Tiffany to helping Kevin cope and move on with his life again. Thankfully, he was able to find a way forward after feeling hurt and rejected. He took on a whole new career path, and was able to also financially recover.  

After a while, we found our own lovely drama-free cadence again in our new state, our new town. Many days we would go to one of our favorite ocean-side lunch spots and look out at the ocean while sipping ice tea and eating crab cakes (although, now we’re vegan so we can’t eat crab cakes). 


Buddha 4 months taking over the house.
Buddha (our Tibetan Terrier puppy) entered our life this summer with boundless energy. We were already emotionally and physically spent. He’s darling but demanding. The first two months with Buddha we were sleep deprived parents. But he’s brought new things to talk and laugh about. We go to the doggy park everyday and watch Buddha run free, wrestle, and dig in the dirt. That brings us a lot of joy. 
Before and after doggy park 


We’ve stepped out of our story, processed some of the hurt and anger and got back into the present moment. 
Trying to fine our way in Paradise. 

New opportunities are happening. We are meeting interesting people we could see being life long friends. We’ve been to a dozen churches. However, they are too conservative or too liturgical. Not to mention that 90% of the church median age is 85 years old (I don't want to be making friends and going to funerals.) We were spoiled with Willow Creek. I don’t think there is anything like Willow around here, so we’ll just have to be spiritually self-fed for now. We’ve also found a lovely meditation group on Saturdays. It’s nice to talk about global healing and inner peace and mindful-living.

We are going to be moving out of this big house and into a condo in January. We’ll be five minutes from the things we love: doggy park, ocean, and restaurants, and theater.  
How does it get any better? 
Even though our first year in Florida was painfully difficult, deep down we’re happy to be here. It still surprises us that we made such an incredible lifestyle change. At least every other day we smile and say out loud to each other, “We live in Florida!”


1 shell for every time we see the ocean together since moving to FL.  


See all those shells? For fun, I collect a seashell for every time we came to the beach together as a couple. The ocean has a unique hold on each of our spirits. It’s calming and awe inspiring. The horizon reminds me that all is well; God brings all things back into balance when we are ready. Collecting these shells is a way to remember all tangible and (hopefully) timeless moments weve had with each other. Lord willing, there will be many more seashells ahead. 



SaveSave

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

HOLY COW


 I’ve wanted to do something for a long time. I’m not looking for permission. I am looking for support. To do what I want to do will take more then will power and determination. 


No, I’m not going to write a book (just yet) or jump out of a plane, run a marathon, or even declare that I will lose 40lbs over the next year. What I want to do is bigger than my ever-expanding hips. 

I want to become a Vegan--not a store-bought fake-meat vegan; not the kind that can eat Oreos because they are vegan (good to know in a pinch!). I want to be a Plant Based Vegan. That means it will take overcoming conscious and subconscious conditioned cultural values, customs, and traditions. 

For most people, food is an addiction. “Hi, my name is Kim. And I eat too much of the wrong kinds of food for me!” 

It’s counter cultural to be vegan. Have you ever tried it? It's hard!  If the whole world were vegan, then it would be easy. It's also not for everyone.

I’ve had some starts and stops on the way to veganism: a few days here, a few weeks there. I’ve got a dozen vegan cookbooks. I’ve watched the vegan animal documentaries. I follow all the best vegan Facebook pages. I’ve had a secret Vegan Pinterest board for three years. I’ve found the two best vegan restaurants in West Palm Beach (maybe in all of Florida). They are SOOOO good; it almost makes me want to move there. And last but not least, I have Rich’s support.

Rich likes eating vegan too. I KNOW, shocker, huh???? My meat and potatoes guy, who never ate veggies until we got married, has made some damn good vegan dishes. We both feel so much better and have a ton of energy when we do eat vegan. My digestion is always like, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Deep down, I think my body is really craving healing and repair, not a cheeseburger.


I’ve always marveled at anyone who was able to sustain a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle for years or decades. Paul McCartney once said, "If slaughterhouses had glass walls everyone would be vegetarian." I used to think they had something unique or special that I didn’t have. Maybe they have the true, ‘Just say NO’ gene? I do find occasionally I can eat vegan. Then there is an epic brunch we’re invited to, or Kevin comes home for a visit and wants a sushi dinner, and I cave. I don’t say anything because I haven’t figured out how to manage the social norm, the unsolicited rolling of the eyes, or the protein push back.

When I go home to Chicago, I want a Portillos Italian beef and Lou Malnati’s sausage, mushroom and onion pizza with my brother. If I’m in Arizona, I want steak, beer-brats, or chili made by my dad. These are all food attachments because of the memories stored in the limbic system of my brain. They have a strong and profound affect on the release of dopamine and serotonin (happy chemicals). And much like a recovering drug addict going back to their old stomping grounds, or an alcoholic going back to the bar they once frequent, we all default back to what’s easy and what makes us socially acceptable.

However, I can’t stop seeing family or friends. And I can’t stop eating. And I can’t deny that devouring a juicy beer-brat or eating a slice of Lou’s pizza is my version of meat epicurean’s heaven.  And, frankly, I’m not sure how I’ll live without Brie cheese and liver mousse pate? That would have been my last dying meal.

So what’s a recovering carnivore to do? I don’t know? I’m working on that. I think by putting it out there, I’m asking for others who know me to not make it more difficult. And if you are on that path too, speak up and let’s support each other.


There are unwavering Vegans who can be over the top, much like a street corner Christian Evangelist. Seriously, I think they do it from good intentions. Their effort to be vocal also comes from a place of conviction. I’ve learned there is so much shocking data the average American or Earthling doesn’t know—the dangerous crisis to sustain our food source or our fragile environment; or the benefits for our long term health. If you want to know, ask. We could even have a thought provoking conversation about it. 
  
There's witty carnivores who shame too. I see the anti-vegan memes all the time. Which tend to keep me underground and emotionally defenseless; I mean, how can you argue with someone who has a lifetime love for bacon but not pigs? 

Really, I don’t want to be a Vegan Zealot. I also don’t want to be shamed or experience guilt by my carnivore friends and family. And I doubt we'd have good odds in Vegas after trying to lose weight for the 100th time in 30 years. For those of you who will want to mock us to our face or behind our backs, (you know who you are), don't knock it until you try it. They're a lot of subconscious reasons for why people give in to diets or health programs (most of them have to do with self-esteem and fears of disappointing people in their respective tribe). So be curious. Be happy. And if you can’t do that, I dare say, mind your own business and pass me the salad. ;-) 

This is what it looks like when people around you are genuinely supportive:

“Hey, how’s it going on your pursuit to eat healthy and eat humane?”
“Let’s go to this restaurant because you can at least eat Vegetarian.”
“I’d love to try a new vegan dish. Please have us over soon.”
“How can I support you around the holidays or at events?”
(BTW-you don’t have to cook for us. We will bring our own stuff to remove any burden.)”


I’m not sure if I’m capable of always being Vegan? If I could be 80% more humane and healthy with my food choices, at this point, I’d feel more spiritually and eco responsible. Of course, a crisis can tip the strongest Vegan or Paleo or No-Carb person off their plan.  The more I meditate and pray, or watch the latest documentaries, and read books, the more I'll feel grounded and confident. 

Some days there are no restaurants with vegan choices. I mean, NONE, NADA! Unless I ask for plain beans or rice. So I’ll eat vegetarian. If I’m served meat as a guest in someone’s house or at my dad’s, I will graciously eat those one or two meals with thanksgiving (much like the American Indians did with their meat feasts). But then speak up for myself about my food preferences. Presently, I’m intuitively Vegan but practically Omnivore. I'm giving myself a year to fully transition. And I'm okay with saying I'm Vegan-ish in some situations outside of my control. 

The why: There is an unspoken place in my spirit that aligns with this choice to eat Plant Based Vegan. I love the practice of Ahimsa as defined: all living beings have the spark of the divine spiritual energy; therefore, to hurt another being is to hurt oneself. There is also the treating your body as a temple as instructed from the bible and many religious texts. When it comes to food, I’ve not been my true self. I’ve been too gluttonous and self-sabotaging with my food choices (including too much sugar and processed foods). I’ve been eating out of fear and eating mindlessly. I’d like to change that.

When Fred died, it leveled me. He was such an incredible sentient being. The unconditional love he offered was more than I deserved. I swear he could look deep into my soul. I felt it. I’m grateful for the time we got to spend with our Guardian of Being. I want to be as kind to other creatures as Fred was towards me. The cow or pig or lamb has as much value as Fred.

The ask: Encourage me to do what’s right ‘for me’, and honor me with your support. I shall do the same for you.





















Wednesday, July 27, 2016

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I could have written a 1000 words on each photo.
This was a fun Facebook Marriage Photo Challenge. Rich and I took turns writing for the 7-days, alternating it on our FB page. I decided to save it for posterity.


DAY 1-By Kim: We have been challenged to post marriage pictures from Steve McNitt on Facebook for 7 days. This is 'our' official Day 1 from Aug 7th 1988. This is my favorite picture of Rich looking at me from our wedding. He's always had the kindest eyes. He always looks at me with love and respect. I've always felt heard and understood. I've been blessed since the moment I said 'I DO!!' 
We also nominate Jessie and Joe Barton. 

DAY 2- By Rich: This is our honeymoon. I will never get over how gracious (and crazy) it was for Kim to take on 3 more children, plus the 1 she already had, the day she said "I do". We were lucky because each of us genuinely loved all the kids and saw them as our own. 


Day 3-By Kim: With the election season happening, this is a fitting picture. This is one of our favorite days in our 28 years of marriage. October 2010, We spontaneously drove to Washington D.C. to experience Jon Stewarts and Stephen Colbert's Rally To Restore Sanity. (Team Sanity or Team Fear). I was so upset because I hardly recognized my country anymore and felt compelled to go. "Silent Minority, you've been summoned!" Well, 200,000+ Americans also felt compelled and showed up on the National Mall. We got to meet a super cool pastor, Mark Allert, and had a BLAST through laughter, music, and fellowship. (I made a video of it in my FB videos.) This was the anti-political Woodstock. The energy was electric and peaceful. After the day was over, Rich surprised me and took me to see my favorite play HAIR at the Kennedy Center. In all our years together, Rich and I have tracked every political season and enjoyed thousands of political conversations. Our politics have evolved over the years (thanks to thoughtful, open-minded Christians like Steve McNitt). Mostly, I want to remain on Team Sanity with you, Rich Brandt. We also nominate Tamara and Adam Gold. 
Day 4-By Rich:  Kim and I have had hundreds of getaways and vacations, but England was by far our favorite. We loved everything about it (especially scones & clotted cream). Here we are at Shakespeare's birthplace. And from me to you sweetheart: "I would not wish any companion in the world but you" (The Tempest). And I nominate John & MG Tindall to post pictures of their marriage for 7 days.

Day 5-By Kim: One thing I've always loved and appreciated is how Rich 'gets me'. I've had a bucket list (before there was a Bucket List movie). Over the years, he's surprised me to go see or experience or check off something on my Bucket List. This photo was when he drove me to Iowa to go see Michael Buble' in concert. We've always been great road trippers and enjoy doing life together. I nominate Jean & Mark Des Biens to share 7 Days, some of your favorite couple's moments. 
Day 6-By Rich:  Here we are enjoying downtown Chicago--thousands of awesome memories from our beloved hometown. We will always be forever Chicagoans. I nominate Michele & Dick Lemberger to do the 7 Day marriage photo challenge.
Day 7-By Kim: Moving to FL has been another grand adventure (probably our biggest). I like this picture because I'm putting on my brave face. Rich is always smiling. I'm glad we moved here now, while we were younger, instead of 75 and retired. We've been here 10 months. We've had many unexpected challenges that were bigger then us, and we lost Fred suddenly. It's been difficult to be away from people who've 'known us and get us'. Florida can feel like you're on a different planet. At times, it's been painfully lonely, even boring without girlfriends and our couple-friends. I underestimated how long it takes to build new lifelong relationships. But we have each other. We go down to the beach and it feels like home. We walk the ocean shore and the impact of change washes off for the moment. The level horizon reminds me how God is always present. I look out to the ocean and imagine we have a big life ahead us (Lord willing). Life in FL is good; we still feel like we are on vacation. And every day we say, "We live in FLORIDA! We know it won't always be this way; soon we'll have community and refrigerator friendships. Buddha will replace Fred on the couch and someday snuggle (now he wants to bite everything). In the meantime, we'll continue to laugh and love and have deep conversations about existence on this big blue ball in the Universe. There is nobody in the world I'd rather do life with and go on grand adventures with than Rich Brandt. ✌🏼😎
🌴☀️🌊💖